I have two children, but I don’t identify solely as a mother.
Let me clarify: my love for them is immense—so deep that I could spend hours just inhaling the scent of their hair. However, being a mother is just one facet of who I am.
I invest my energy into parenting my kids with the hope of nurturing them into kind and thoughtful individuals. Yet, I still refuse to confine myself to the label of “Mom.”
I’m a writer, passionate about my career and its fulfillment. I made the conscious choice to have children, and I cherish my family endlessly. I have quirky interests, like a slight obsession with bleu cheese and a love for ’90s R&B. I make mistakes, just like anyone else.
While my kids are a significant part of my life, they don’t encompass my entire existence. Acknowledging that our children aren’t the epicenter of our world is a tough pill to swallow in today’s society, particularly for women. Fathers aren’t held to the same expectations.
Society wants mothers to embody “Mom” at all times. We’re pressured to relinquish our personal joys and comforts for the sake of our children. From baking perfect treats for school events to orchestrating the ultimate Pinterest-inspired birthday bashes, the list goes on. Have a demanding job? No problem! Just stay up late to finish those cupcakes. If being the supermom makes you happy and you embrace that identity, then by all means, go for it. But not everyone feels defined by motherhood.
Let’s face it: the only socially accepted Facebook updates for mothers are professionally shot photos of their children paired with heartfelt #blessed captions. And don’t forget—those kids need to be dressed in perfectly coordinated outfits that look as if they were hand-sewn.
Our feeds are inundated with kid-centric posts, and anything outside that realm often goes unnoticed. We’re celebrated for being mothers, yet penalized when we seek to explore our identities beyond that role.
Parenting magazines aimed at women overflow with time-consuming craft ideas and impractical advice, none of which most of us have time to implement. They do, however, make a decent drink holder for your nightstand.
In contrast, men, regardless of fatherhood, are encouraged to pursue hobbies, ambitions, and weekend adventures. It’s a bonus if they happen to be good dads too.
I genuinely believe that not making my life revolve around my children will serve them well in the end. They’ll have a well-rounded role model in me, one who demonstrates that life is about more than just being a good mother. This, in turn, will empower them to grow up without the pressure to define themselves narrowly.
We teach our daughters to be ambitious and articulate, instilling in them that they can achieve anything. Yet, we often deny ourselves that same privilege. Our parents worked hard to raise us as multifaceted individuals; it’s our duty to honor that legacy. We are women who happen to be mothers—and so much more than that.
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In summary, being a mother is just one aspect of my identity. I embrace my passions, interests, and dreams outside of motherhood while raising my kids to be well-rounded individuals.
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