It’s been nearly 12 years since I tied the knot, and yet people still seem puzzled by my decision to retain my last name. Despite its consistency, family, friends, and even colleagues often find it challenging to address me correctly. Should they use my husband’s last name? A combination of both names? Or perhaps something entirely new?
In this day and age, it’s surprising that a married woman keeping her maiden name is still perceived as peculiar. I frequently encounter questions about my choice and its implications for our children. Some women timidly inquire if my husband is upset about my decision, while some men assert they would never allow their wives to keep their original names.
So what’s the fuss all about? For me, the answer is straightforward: this is my name, and I’m proud to keep it. No offense to my husband or anyone else, but I don’t see a valid reason to change it.
1. Marriage Does Not Mean Losing My Identity.
I married my partner because I cherish and respect him. We complement each other perfectly. Why would I need to adopt his name and diminish my own identity? I don’t aim to become more like him; our differences strengthen our relationship.
2. My Name Is My Heritage.
My last name is a significant part of who I am. It embodies my history and ancestry, and I have invested considerable effort into establishing a reputation built around it. Why should I abandon something so personal just because I fell in love? I didn’t marry as a “maiden” seeking rescue; I’m a woman with my own story.
3. Tradition Doesn’t Always Make Sense.
The most common argument for changing my last name revolves around tradition. “But it’s how it’s always been done,” they say. However, just because something is traditional doesn’t mean it’s logical or necessary. We have all sorts of odd traditions, like presidential turkey pardons every Thanksgiving—fun, but not essential.
4. Different Last Names Don’t Diminish Family Unity.
We are unique individuals, and that’s perfectly fine. My husband has his last name, I have mine, and our children carry a hyphenated combination of both. Having different last names does not weaken our family bond. In fact, explaining their hyphenated names is often easier than justifying a single surname tied to one parent.
5. Equality in Naming Should Go Both Ways.
I don’t expect my husband to change his last name, so why should I? If both partners are on board with a name change, that’s wonderful. But if neither feels compelled to do so, then why the pressure?
6. My Partner Was Supportive.
One of the things I appreciate about my husband is his easy-going nature. He never pushed me to adopt his last name, not even once. His confidence in our relationship means that he doesn’t see my choice as a threat to our marriage.
7. The Hassle of Changing Names is Not Worth It.
From updating your driver’s license to changing your passport, the logistics of a name change can be overwhelming. And what happens if there’s a divorce? I prefer the simplicity of having my name stay the same throughout my life. It makes things much easier!
8. Preserving My Surname for Future Generations.
My grandparents had sons, and those names passed down to the next generation. If I followed tradition, my name would vanish. I value my family lineage just as much as my husband’s and want to ensure it continues.
9. Defying Convention is Empowering.
There is something liberating about challenging societal norms, especially when there’s no convincing reason to conform. Ultimately, it’s my decision, and those who disagree need not follow suit.
So, for those still puzzled, allow me to clarify: I didn’t transform into someone else upon marrying. My identity remains intact, and I wouldn’t have chosen a partner who would have a problem with my desire to maintain my name.
For further insights on family and identity, check out this related post on Cervical Insemination. If you’re exploring at-home insemination options, Make a Mom offers reputable kits that might be of interest. Additionally, for more information about pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline provides an excellent resource here.
In summary, the choice to keep my last name is a personal one, reflecting my identity and values. Marriage hasn’t changed who I am; it has only added to my life story.
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