By: J.L. Parker
As I sit here at 1:30 a.m., nearly 30 weeks pregnant, I can’t help but reflect on my journey toward becoming a single mom by choice. My baby has been kicking like a little champion, and while I’m weary, I’m also grateful that my insemination was successful on the first try. After a string of unsuccessful relationships, I decided to take a bold step and embrace motherhood solo. What I didn’t foresee were the unsolicited comments that would come my way.
1. “Isn’t it unfair to decide that this child will grow up without a father?”
It’s hard to ignore this question, especially when so many children are raised in single-parent homes for various reasons. While I would have loved a more conventional family setup, today’s families can look different—think two moms, two dads, or any mix thereof. My child may not have a dad, but she will have a fantastic grandfather, two amazing uncles, and plenty of strong male figures in her life. It may not be the traditional route, but when I think about the potential dads from my past relationships, I believe that raising her alone is a much healthier option.
2. “I’m so sorry.”
This sentiment came from a few friends and family members who seemed to think my decision was a sign of desperation or cynicism. Their expressions suggested they felt they had somehow failed me, but they quickly changed their tune when they saw my excitement. Interestingly, two of my exes reached out with similar apologies, expressing how I deserved happiness and how it was their fault for not treating me right. The truth is, I’ve always wanted kids at the forefront of my life goals. I just found a creative way to make it happen.
3. “You know how girls without dads end up, right?”
Ah yes, the classic stereotype. It would be amusing to explore how many “exotic dancers” cite an absent father as the reason for their life choices. The difference in my situation? My daughter will grow up knowing she was wanted and that a kind man contributed to her existence, rather than someone who abandoned her. I’ll instill in her the understanding that I wanted her fiercely, and the absence of a father figure won’t mean a lack of strong paternal connections.
4. “You have no idea what you are getting into!”
That’s absolutely correct! Who really knows what to expect? Every parent, whether single or partnered, is navigating the unknown. I’ve spent countless hours on parenting forums and discovered that everyone is figuring it out as they go along. While I anticipate challenges, I also enjoy the freedom of making decisions about my daughter’s upbringing without needing to compromise with anyone. I’ve planned for this moment for years, and I’m confident that I can handle whatever comes my way.
5. “Good for you! You’ve been saying you wanted kids forever.”
Telling my dad about my decision took some preparation; I wanted to convey it in a way that would minimize his initial reaction. Surprisingly, his response was one of support, which meant the world to me. As I write this, I realize that my pregnancy journey has empowered me to be more assertive, helping me to dismiss unkind comments. These skills will be invaluable as I navigate motherhood and answer my daughter’s questions about her unique family situation.
In summary, while I may receive unsolicited opinions on my choice to become a single mom, I remind myself that this decision stems from love and thoughtful planning. I’m excited to embrace this journey and create the life I’ve always envisioned for myself and my child. If you’re curious about the process of becoming a single mom by choice, check out this informative article on pregnancy and home insemination. For those considering at-home insemination, you might want to look at reputable retailers like this one offering syringe kits.
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