Creating a magical spray to fend off imaginary monsters in your child’s room? Brilliant! Life-changing! But what about those little tricks we employ during the day that we might hesitate to share with fellow parents at the playground? Well, I’m ready to let you in on my little secrets.
- Food on the Floor
If you’re a germaphobe, you might want to look away. We all know how toddlers love to toss food from their high chairs with glee. And, of course, they’ll happily consume whatever hits the floor once they’re free. Why not skip the middleman? Just find a clean spot on the floor and place the food there. You can always comfort yourself with articles on how germs can actually be good for kids. - Commando Mornings
Mornings can be a circus, and wrangling a preschooler who adamantly claims he doesn’t need to use the bathroom is exhausting. Keeping him in a pull-up is counterproductive to potty training, so I’ve come up with a clever workaround: pants down to the knees, pull-up off, and then pants back up. We’ll tackle the underwear situation after I’ve had my coffee. - Me or the Doctor?
I feel a tad guilty about this one, mainly because I don’t like to use empty threats. But desperate times call for desperate measures! If my preschooler refuses to let me brush his teeth, I give him a choice: me or the doctor. If he’s reluctant to wash his hair, I ask, “Do you want Mommy to do it or the doctor?” It’s amazing how quickly he changes his mind when I pretend to call the pediatrician. - Race to the Potty
Picture this: your child is doing the pee-pee dance but refuses to use the potty. Challenge him to a race! Declare that you’ll go first and make it a serious competition. Even letting him win a few times can spark his competitive spirit for the next round. - Feed Like a Bird
I would have definitely judged this tactic before becoming a parent. But if my little one is reluctant to eat, and I can entertain him with some bird-like antics while delivering food from my mouth to his high chair? Well, at least he’s eating the meatball! - Short-on-Time Bath
Some days, the kids are filthy but you simply don’t have the energy for a full bath. Just squeeze some soap into the running water and dunk each child in the sudsy mix for about 15 seconds. Voila! Clean enough! - Enhance the Culinary Experience
Food can be significantly more appealing with a splash of ketchup, a sprinkle of sprinkles, or a handful of chocolate chips. Is it better for kids to skip oatmeal or have chocolate chip oatmeal with ketchup? I’ll take the latter any day. Thank goodness I have a strong stomach! - Take the Meal Outside
If you dread cleaning the kitchen for the umpteenth time, why not treat the kids to a fun picnic outside? In reality, you might find yourself shoving granola bars into their mouths while they bicker over a soccer ball. But hey, at least the broom stays in the closet! - Road Trip
Feeling overwhelmed by messes and fights? Grab the kids and take them on a “road trip” to spot trucks, trains, or even unicorns. Load up on a great podcast or your favorite music station, grab some coffee, and enjoy the brief freedom of having them strapped into their car seats. - Trick Them Into Sharing
Got one banana left and two eager kids? Tell the older child that you have to break off the bruised part for them. This strategy works for any food item. You can teach sharing and kindness another day!
Sometimes, you just have to do what it takes to survive a hectic day. I know these parenting hacks might not earn me the “Mom of the Year” award, but I’m confident my kids will turn out just fine. The next time the witching hour hits, don’t panic. Just take the kids outside, serve them some food with ketchup, and finish the day with a quick dunk bath. I promise I won’t tell.
If you’re looking for more parenting tips or advice, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. For couples on their fertility journey, Make a Mom offers excellent at-home insemination kits. And if you want a comprehensive resource on artificial insemination, take a look at this Wikipedia article.
In summary, parenting can be tough, and sometimes you have to rely on unconventional hacks to get through the day. Embrace the chaos and remember, you’re not alone in this journey.
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