9 Annoying Things Tweens Do That Are Actually Incredible

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Parenting a tween can feel like riding a roller coaster—thrilling, unpredictable, and sometimes a little nauseating. My 12-year-old son, Jake, recently insisted on painting his room a striking shade of dark blue. Rather than flat-out rejecting the idea, I suggested a vibrant teal as a compromise. Luckily, he loved the idea, and I dodged a potential meltdown.

As I navigate this new chapter with my tween, I realize that while they can be a handful, there’s so much to appreciate about them. Here are some behaviors that may seem frustrating but are actually signs of their growth and individuality.

1. Tweens Can Be Messy Because They Prioritize What Matters to Them.
   Jake is what you might call “hygiene-challenged.” He’s less concerned with showering regularly or keeping his hair neat (spoiler: it’s not). Instead, he’s immersed in books, video games, and creating his own stories. He’s not focused on impressing his classmates; he’s captivated by his favorite characters and their adventures.
2. They Might Be Embarrassed by You, but They Crave Your Support.
   Jake often cringes at my antics—like when I wave enthusiastically across the yard or sing along to his favorite songs (loudly). Yet, when I compliment his creativity on a recent story idea, he beams and says, “That’s why you’re the best mom!”
3. Tweens Challenge Limits as They Seek Independence.
   Jake often questions the relevance of school subjects, wondering, “Why do I need to learn about cell structures?” He may procrastinate on his assignments, but he still manages to achieve good grades. His sharp wit and humor reveal a maturity beyond his years, and he’s learning to define his own passions.
4. They Can Be Loud Because They’re Finding Their Voice.
   Jake has discovered a love for punk rock, often turning up the volume until the walls vibrate. He connects with music that resonates deeply with him, using it as a means of self-expression. It’s all part of his journey to understand who he is.
5. Tweens Push Boundaries to Foster Growth.
   Jake frequently tests the rules and enjoys negotiating new ones. He plays with language, experimenting with swearing but always with a humorous disclaimer: “I’m about to say a bad word!” (I can’t help but chuckle at that.)
6. They Do Quirky Things Because They’re Uncovering Their Identity.
   Jake sometimes draws whiskers on his face or sketches bizarre creatures on his arm. He’s not concerned about others’ opinions; he’s simply enjoying the moment. Who knows what new trend will catch his attention next week?
7. Tweens Don’t Want to Be Treated Like Kids; They Want to Care for Others.
   Jake rolls his eyes when he hears stories of his younger days playing with action figures. However, he recently sold those toys to donate the money to a charity for animals. That speaks volumes about his growing sense of empathy.
8. They Seem to Want Space but Still Appreciate Your Time.
   Jake often retreats to his room after school, emerging only for snacks and family dinners. Yet, he still loves to curl up with me for his favorite TV show or engage in book discussions with his dad.

Raising a tween truly comes with a unique set of challenges that can leave any parent feeling bewildered. Despite their stubbornness and occasional drama, the heart of these young individuals remains unchanged. They’re fiercely exploring their identities and pushing towards independence, even if it sometimes drives us to our limits.

So, yes, they can be a handful, but they are also extraordinary. Every facet of their being—even the challenging ones—is part of what makes them special.

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Summary:

Tweens often exhibit behaviors that can be frustrating for parents, such as neglecting hygiene or pushing boundaries. However, these actions are part of their growth and independence. From seeking approval to expressing themselves loudly, each quirk showcases their unique journey. Embracing these moments can help parents appreciate the incredible individuals their tweens are becoming.