Last night, you casually tossed your dirty socks and boxer shorts on the kitchen counter. This morning, as I reached for a box of cereal for our oldest, Rice Krispies exploded everywhere because someone didn’t bother to seal it properly. Just as we were about to head out for school, our youngest opened his water bottle and ended up drenched in seltzer. I can’t help but wonder who filled it with seltzer last night despite my repeated reminders to stick to plain water.
And really, what’s the deal with your bathroom breaks? It seriously takes you a solid half hour! Trust me, I’ve timed it. Sometimes I worry that you might have an underlying health issue, but then I remember that you’re in there scrolling through your phone while the kids are yelling for your attention. Maybe you just need a moment of peace.
Oh, how I wish I could take 30 minutes for myself in the bathroom! I can’t recall the last time I had a moment alone, let alone half an hour to myself.
Dear husband, I could easily compile a lengthy list of grievances, and believe me, I do—daily, in my mind. Sometimes, my frustrations slip out: “How many times do I have to ask you to take out the trash?” or “For goodness’ sake, please clean up the crumbs off the counter.” But then I glance over at you, sprawled on the couch with our son nestled in your lap, as you read him Green Eggs and Ham for the umpteenth time.
You’re utterly exhausted. You’ve been up since 5 a.m., slipping out before the kids and I have even stirred. You caught the 5:50 train and sleepwalked your way through the day. You’ve spent hours navigating a room full of 15-year-olds who roll their eyes at you just as much as our son does. Yet, amidst the teenage angst, you’ve managed to connect with a few kids, helping them find their voice in writing or grasp a line of Shakespeare—while still managing to crack a few of your classic dad jokes.
When you finally walk through the door, I throw a couple of wild kids your way and demand you take out the trash. And here you are, reading to our son, making silly animal sounds even though you look like you might fall asleep at any moment.
It’s infuriating how hard it is to dislike you when all I want to do is vent! The honest truth is, you put in the effort. Yes, you leave your stuff scattered everywhere and forget half the things I ask, but you’re working on it. Just the other day, I went for a jog, and when I returned, I found the house surprisingly tidy—without me even asking you to do it.
Sure, there are moments when your patience wears thin, and you might yell at the kids when their whining reaches a fever pitch. But I’ve noticed you taking a deep breath and holding back before losing your cool. I see you trying to defuse situations instead of escalating them.
Sometimes, I wish you’d push yourself a bit more. I get that your job is demanding, but mine is no walk in the park either. You leave for work at 5, but I’m up by 6:30, wrestling two spirited boys to get dressed and out the door by 8 a.m. sharp. Then I’m on my own with them for the next 12 hours. And let’s not forget about managing the household, my freelance work, the bills, and homework—it often feels like I’m juggling the entire world.
But this isn’t a competition. Life is challenging. Marriage can be tough. Raising children is no easy feat. Trying to balance it all and come out intact, thriving—that’s a monumental task.
Yet, despite all the chaos, there’s no one else I’d rather share this beautiful, grueling life with than you. You’re the man I said “I do” to all those years ago, long before parenthood and responsibilities turned our lives upside down.
At the end of our long days, when we finally have that fleeting hour to ourselves before we crash into bed, we often find ourselves on the couch, munching on snacks and focused on our phones. Most nights, we’re so drained that we barely converse.
But in those rare moments, I’ll look up and see a familiar spark in your blue eyes, flooding me with that old love. We reconnect, even if just for a second, and in that glance, I know we’re alright. Our marriage is imperfect, but love will always guide us through.
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In summary, while our marriage may not be flawless, the love we share makes the challenges worthwhile.
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