When you’re navigating the rollercoaster of pregnancy, there are countless things you find yourself longing to do in public—those little comforts and quirks that you might indulge in behind closed doors. Sure, you could technically act on those impulses, but the potential fallout could range from a loss of friendships to a run-in with the law. Here’s a lighthearted look at some of those things you might wish you could do:
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Cool Down Your Crotch
Let’s be real: swollen labia and pelvic discomfort are common during the third trimester. Wouldn’t it be nice to just stroll down the frozen food aisle and apply a Lean Cuisine for some relief? No judgment, just comfort! -
Yell, “I REALLY NEED TO GO!”
Even the most desperate bathroom emergencies are best kept to yourself. No one wants to hear that frantic plea echoing off the restroom walls. -
Slather on Creams Anywhere
For those of you dealing with chafed skin or tender nipples, it would be amazing to whip out some soothing cream in public without a second thought. But alas, discretion is key. -
Apply Hemorrhoid Cream at Work
Let’s face it, nobody wants to see that in a professional setting. It’s just not the right atmosphere for personal hygiene emergencies! -
Go Commando
Maternity clothes can feel restrictive, and sometimes all you want is to let it all hang out. Unfortunately, public nudity tends to be frowned upon. -
Fart Freely
Pregnancy-induced gas is real, yet society expects you to keep it under wraps. It’s a shame there’s no fairy-tale scenario where you can let loose and still be invited to dinner parties! -
Neglect Personal Grooming
While it’s tempting to skip a few showers or haircuts during this busy time, remember: you still want friends around when the baby arrives. If your doctor starts wearing a hazmat suit for routine checkups, it’s time for some self-care. -
Raid Other People’s Plates
Pregnancy cravings can hit at any moment, but diving into someone else’s meal at a restaurant isn’t exactly polite. It’s best to wait for your own food! -
Ask Random Strangers for Medical Advice
Wondering if what you’re experiencing is normal? While it’s understandable to have questions, keep those inquiries to your doctor or partner. Strangers aren’t equipped to evaluate your discharge! -
Get Frisky in Public
If your libido has shot through the roof, you might feel the urge to get intimate at the most inappropriate moments. But save the action for home, no fondue tables required!
Pregnancy brings a plethora of unique challenges and desires, but many are best kept private. For more insights on the journey of building your family, check out this helpful resource on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re looking for at-home insemination options, this reputable retailer offers a great selection of kits. And if you want to dig deeper into the topic, feel free to explore this other blog post for more information!
Summary
Pregnancy can feel like a time of restrictions, especially when it comes to some of the things you might want to do in public. From seeking relief for discomfort to indulging in personal habits, it’s crucial to navigate this phase with a sense of humor and a touch of discretion.
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