So, you’ve just received news you didn’t expect. You’re likely a few busy weeks into embracing your pregnancy glow, and suddenly, you hear the term: spina bifida. What does that even mean? It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. Just when you thought the excitement of welcoming a new baby was enough to handle, you’re now faced with a whirlwind of medical appointments, screenings, fears, and uncertainties.
But take a deep breath, my friend. Though it might feel like your world is spinning out of control right now, things will improve. Here are four important insights to help you through this challenging time:
1. It’s Not Your Fault
I still recall lying on the ultrasound table, hearing the words “spina bifida” for the first time. My mind went blank, and I couldn’t help but reflect on everything I might have done wrong. Did I indulge too much in morning sickness? Was my diet not healthy enough? Did I skip my vitamins?
Listen closely, dear one: spina bifida is not your fault. No amount of healthy eating or prenatal vitamins could have guaranteed a different outcome. According to the Spina Bifida Association, this condition doesn’t have a singular cause. You didn’t cause this, and neither did your partner. You may have encountered an unexpected challenge, but you and your partner are more than capable of navigating this journey together.
2. Cherish Your Pregnancy
I wish I had embraced this sentiment when I was expecting my twins. For 16 glorious weeks, I soaked in the joy of my pregnancy, reveling in the fact that I was carrying two little lives. But when I learned that one of my twins had spina bifida, I quickly transitioned from feeling like a superstar to being consumed with worry. Every symptom became a source of panic, and I lost sight of the joy in my pregnancy.
Looking back, I realize how important it is to appreciate this beautiful time. Rock those maternity clothes, flaunt your baby bump with pride, and savor each moment. Don’t let the weight of a diagnosis overshadow the joy of bringing new life into the world. You deserve to enjoy every second of this experience.
3. Don’t Rush to Learn Everything About Spina Bifida
After receiving your diagnosis, it’s tempting to dive into a sea of information. You might find yourself Googling everything on the drive home and imagining the adjustments you’ll need to make in your home. Just a few days ago, your concerns revolved around nursery colors, and now you’re trying to pronounce medical terms like myelomeningocele and hydrocephalus.
Pause for a moment. You don’t need to become a spina bifida expert overnight. You don’t have to have all the answers right now, and it’s okay if you’re unsure what questions to ask. The path to understanding will unfold in time. Your primary focus should be on preparing for motherhood, and the knowledge will come as you journey forward. Don’t forget to breathe.
4. You’re Not Alone
Take a moment to process the news. Feel your emotions and then gather your strength for your baby. You might not have met anyone with spina bifida or any parents of children with special needs, and it can feel isolating. However, I assure you, you’re stepping into an incredible community of supportive individuals. You’ll meet children who will touch your heart and parents who will become your allies.
You are not alone in this. The amazing people you will encounter—kids, parents, doctors, therapists, and online support communities—will provide encouragement and hope. I know how daunting this moment feels, but remember that there are countless others who have stood where you are now. In the future, you may look back and wonder why you were so anxious. You’ll likely find yourself sharing your story with another new mom who has that same fearful look in her eyes.
Hang in there. You’ve got this, and we’re here to support you. Welcome to this new chapter of your life.
For more insights, check out this helpful resource on IVF and fertility preservation. If you’re looking for at-home insemination options, consider visiting Make a Mom for reputable kits. And for additional perspective, take a look at another of our posts here.
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