Dear James,
I want to take a moment to express how grateful I am for you. You are a fantastic father and a loving husband, and I genuinely appreciate all the hard work you put into our family. From tackling the laundry to being an involved dad to our boys, it’s clear you strive to set a positive example for them.
However, there’s something that’s been bothering me, and I feel it’s time to address it.
Please, let’s put an end to using the term “girl” as an insult.
I understand that your coaching spirit comes through in moments of frustration. You have a strong belief in toughness and resilience, and you want our boys to embody those traits. But when they react to minor disappointments or show vulnerability, your go-to phrase seems to be “quit being a girl.”
This phrasing creates a misleading narrative. When you say this, you unintentionally suggest that being a girl is synonymous with weakness, that girls are overly emotional or sensitive. But we both know that’s not the truth.
As your partner, I am a woman who has brought four incredible boys into this world. My strength has been tested, yet I’ve persevered through challenges, including multiple surgeries. I’ve cared for our children with love and dedication, and I certainly don’t cry over trivial matters. My emotions are just as valid as anyone else’s.
I want our boys to understand that it’s perfectly okay to feel hurt, to cry, and to express their emotions. Life will throw challenges their way, and I hope they’ll turn to us, not feeling ashamed, but supported and understood. It’s crucial for them to learn that experiencing pain or sadness doesn’t make them any less of a man; it makes them human.
Let’s teach them that strength can coexist with sensitivity. Let’s redefine what it means to be strong. It’s not about suppressing emotions but rather about acknowledging them and using them as a source of power.
In essence, being “girly” is not a derogatory term; it can represent compassion, empathy, and strength. I want our boys to appreciate that everyone has feelings, and that’s what makes us human.
Hoping for your understanding and support,
Your devoted wife, Emily
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In summary, let’s foster an environment where our boys can embrace their emotions without fear of being judged. Together, we can raise compassionate and resilient individuals who understand that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength.
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