When it comes to stubbornness, I wear that badge with pride. I believe it’s one of my greatest strengths. It ensures that I follow through on my commitments and remain consistent in my decisions. As I embarked on my parenting journey, I laid out a clear set of “I will” and “I won’t” statements. I’m proud to say that I’ve largely adhered to these principles. My children enjoy limited screen time, eat healthfully, and have been sleeping soundly in their own rooms since they were just six weeks old. However, after four years of motherhood, I stumbled.
During my pregnancy with my daughter, I came across a compelling article discussing the importance of not speaking negatively about one’s appearance in front of children. The author shared how her mother’s self-deprecating remarks shaped her views on beauty. This insight struck a chord with me, and I made a firm commitment to ensure my daughter never hears me express disappointment in my looks. Unfortunately, this resolve faltered.
Every year on my daughter’s birthday, we capture a special moment together in a photograph, marking our growth and changes. While I often feel uneasy in front of the camera, I cherish these memories. But this year, I caught myself saying, “Ugh, I’m just so unattractive.” Before I could even process my words, my daughter asked, “You’re unattractive?”
Regret washed over me. I quickly responded, “Oops, Mommy didn’t mean that,” but deep down, I knew she would eventually grasp that my feelings were genuine. I’m not here to dispense advice on how to love your appearance; I’ve never been fully comfortable in my skin, scars and all. My goal is to break the cycle of negative self-talk.
I don’t want my daughter to hear me call myself unattractive only to have others remark, “You look just like your mother.” What kind of message does that send? Even if I struggle with my body image, I must shield her from the weight of such negativity. I have a limited window to instill in her a strong sense of beauty and self-worth, protecting her from societal pressures.
As she grows and her peers begin to influence her self-perception, I can only hope that I’ve fortified her self-esteem with meaningful praise rather than stunting her growth with my own insecurities. I’m determined to create an environment where she feels beautiful and confident. I won’t allow her to hear me call myself unattractive again.
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Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, the author grapples with the impact of self-image on her daughter’s perception of beauty. She shares her commitment to break the cycle of negative self-talk and foster her daughter’s self-esteem despite her own insecurities.
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