Dear Little One,
As the time of your arrival approached, I found myself reminiscing with family and friends, sharing stories about the joys of motherhood. I had convinced myself that having two children would turn me into a hermit, hiding away from the world. Yet, surprisingly, we adapted, albeit with a few bumps along the way. We eventually ventured out—mostly for essentials like nipple cream and Motrin—but we made it happen.
At just 11 months old, I realize that my parenting approach with you has been vastly different from how I cared for your older sibling. That’s why I feel compelled to write this apology now, so that someday you’ll understand my intentions. Remember that through it all, mommy loves you fiercely.
I owe you an apology for the time I accidentally dropped you. It was a chaotic moment; you were peacefully sleeping on my chest when gravity took over. You tumbled off, and I was convinced I had done irreparable harm. Thankfully, you cried for only a moment before flashing that adorable smile of yours. In my defense, our bed was crowded—your dad was there, and your brother had crawled in, pushing me to the edge. Exhaustion had taken its toll after a night of nursing you. I even toyed with the idea of getting you a special suit to cushion your falls, but we settled on a bigger bed instead.
I also apologize for not having all the details about you documented. Your brother’s baby book is filled with milestones, stats, and memories, while yours will likely read, “Place photo here.” I was busy showering you with love and dealing with your brother’s antics, like when I turned around and found you standing, gripping a Swiffer for balance. You’re already a little acrobat, and I missed it!
I’m sorry that your brother has taken to peeing near you—yes, even in the bathtub. He may not mean to, but he often acts as if you’re invisible. If you’re crawling in his way, he’ll barrel right into you. And if you’re holding a toy, he’ll snatch it without a second thought. Yet, despite his roughhousing, you giggle at everything he does and follow him wherever he goes. I correct him, and sometimes I let you get a little revenge—like when you get to lick the icy pop before I hand it to him. It’s our secret.
I must also apologize for your wardrobe choices. Your brother had a closet full of adorable outfits, while you’re mostly dressed in his hand-me-downs. Getting two kids ready feels like a scavenger hunt, and sometimes I’m shocked to find you covered in remnants of lunch. If “hobo chic” ever becomes a thing, you’ll be the trendsetter.
Despite these imperfections, I want to assure you that my love for you is just as deep as it is for your brother. The notion that the second child receives less love is a myth. From the moment you were placed in my arms, I knew that my heart could expand to love you both infinitely. I would give anything for you and your brother, and I will love you as fiercely as I love him for all eternity.
So, while I may have dropped you, forgotten to document your milestones, allowed some questionable bathroom behavior, and dressed you in mismatched clothes, know that my love for you is unwavering and profound.
With all the love I have,
Mom
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