I was attending a birthday celebration for a friend’s daughter when it happened. My little one was nestled on my right hip—his usual spot—when my preschooler waddled over, tugging at my pant leg. “Mommy, I need you to hold me!” his tiny voice called out. So, I scooped up my preschooler and balanced him on my other hip.
When I started to feel the strain, I attempted to set my baby down, but he erupted into a spectacular rendition of “Whine Like a Banshee,” demanding to be picked up again. In a moment of compromise, I set my preschooler down instead. “Mommy, I really need you!” he lamented in his most convincing tone.
I soon found a chair large enough for all three of us and snuggled them close until they had their fill. My preschooler was the first to hop off—enticed by a towering Lego creation. The baby, however, stuck around until he spotted the snack table.
He pointed eagerly at the snacks, coaxing me to follow. I lifted him back onto my hip and headed over to prepare a little bowl of cheese. As he munched happily, a woman—likely a relative of my friend—leaned in and remarked, “You really ought to put that baby down. He won’t walk if you keep carrying him all the time. You’re going to spoil him,” she insisted.
I chuckled nervously, a habit of mine when flustered. “I’m okay, thanks,” I replied, struggling to find the right words in that moment. “You’re really going to spoil both of them,” she added, gesturing toward my preschooler.
Despite her comments, I continued to hold my baby throughout the party. I laughed and engaged with everyone, but inside, I was seething. Why didn’t I stand up for myself? Why did I allow her unsolicited parenting advice to get to me?
Now, from the comfort of my own space, I feel empowered to respond.
Hey there! If holding my children means I’m spoiling them, then so be it. I’ll gladly embrace the title of “the mom with the spoiled kids.” Never will I deny my little ones the warmth and comfort of being in my arms. You know, some adults actually pay for hugs these days. It’s a thing! They’re so starved for affection that they join groups just to share a hug. Maybe you could consider that—it might help you rediscover your humanity.
Call me naïve, but I always believed that spoiling my kids meant catering to their every material desire. I thought it was about showering them with endless amounts of flashy toys rather than fulfilling their real needs. Sure, my kids have their share of colorful toys, but they also require plenty of “on” time—time spent in my embrace. They seek affection, and I’m more than happy to provide it. That’s part of being a parent.
Let me brag for a moment about what I can accomplish while holding my baby: I can apply face cream, do my makeup, brush my teeth, and even blow-dry my hair—all without setting him down. I can even manage a bathroom break from start to finish (hand-washing included) while he’s nestled in my arms. I can cook, vacuum, and tidy up with him comfortably perched on my hip, all while my preschooler dashes back and forth for hugs and chats.
So yes, I will continue to carry them on my hips. I will use every baby carrier available—whether it’s the Moby wrap, the Bjorn, or a backpack carrier. I will respond to their requests to be held until the day they stop asking, which, I hope, is far off in the future when they’re grown and parenting little ones of their own who crave love and closeness. And hopefully, my sons will remember how to nurture their own babies’ needs.
Oh, just a moment. I feel tiny fingers tugging at my pant leg. One little one wants to snuggle, while the other wants me to carry him—just because.
So, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go indulge my kids.
In summary, parenting is about providing affection and support to our little ones. Indulging them in love and warmth doesn’t spoil them; rather, it helps them grow into emotionally healthy individuals. For more insights on home insemination and parenting, check out this resource and discover fertility boosters that can assist you on your journey.
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