Dear Emma,
Before you came into my life, I had no real understanding of love’s profound depth. It’s like the universe—vast, ever-expanding, and filled with wonders yet to be discovered. My heart remains the same size, but the love within it has grown tremendously, evolving and deepening with every moment we share. The experience of motherhood has taught my heart how to embrace this immense and beautiful burden of love.
Love is cradling you in my arms during those precious first seconds of your life, tears streaming down my face for a myriad of reasons. It’s the struggle against fatigue as I comfort you in the middle of the night. It’s the tender moments we share as I stroke your hair, our whispers lulling you to sleep. I recognize that these quiet times are fleeting. Tomorrow, you might stomp around, frustrated because your favorite shirt is missing. “Why didn’t you do the laundry?” you might demand, sounding far more dramatic than necessary. I could list a thousand reasons or remind you to handle your own chores, but I choose not to engage in a battle. Instead, I silently simmer over the kitchen counter, gritting my teeth while I pour my love into making your favorite peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwich. Sometimes, love speaks in actions rather than words.
Navigating life at 13 can be challenging. It often feels as though your worth is determined by your appearance, possessions, or social media following. These fleeting indicators are like a dazzling lightning storm—bright for a moment, then gone. There will be much more meaningful experiences and conversations that will shape who you become. Ultimately, your true self will be defined not by the jeans you wear or whether a boy asks you to dance, but by your words, actions, and how you impact those around you.
You will come to understand the difference between loving someone and being in love with them. It’s akin to flying without wings, where you feel an exhilarating freedom, as if you could soar above the earth. However, not every feeling of love will be reciprocated, and at times, you may feel heartbroken or abandoned. It’s during these moments that you’ll discover the importance of nurturing a gentle love for yourself. Embrace your authenticity, know your beliefs, feelings, and what you stand for. Cultivating kindness and compassion for yourself and others is a lifelong journey, one that I’m still navigating.
Love can fade but never truly disappears. Don’t discard love, even if it feels like it has diminished or is long gone. Treasure those experiences, even the bittersweet ones. I often think back on my high school sweetheart, how he would meet me at my locker, our goofy smiles shared in the hallways, his Levi’s paired with my favorite top, the scent of Polo by Ralph Lauren mixed with the sweetness of Strawberry Kissing Potion. It’s okay to reflect on both the joyful and painful memories, as they are part of your growth. Beware of confusing obsession or infatuation with true love; these lessons are essential, but never mistake abuse for love. There is nothing loving about causing pain.
Your first love, whether it’s for a boy, a book, or a band, is irreplaceable. For me, U2 is what 5 Seconds of Summer is for you. The Mists of Avalon is my Divergent. You will experience love in different forms throughout your life—sometimes with intense passion, other times with a sense of hopelessness. Seek the meaning in these experiences, and cherish them. Appreciate the beauty in a raindrop clinging to a budding cherry blossom and share that love with the world.
As you continue to blossom and grow, my love evolves alongside you. It’s a challenge to watch you slowly untangle yourself from my grasp. Some days, it manifests as defiance and frustration, while other days, it shows in your newfound independence and decision-making. The love that once bound us tightly is now stretching as you venture into the wider world. Soon enough, when you leave this house, I will hold on to the wise words of Sting: if you love someone, set them free. Just remember to carry my love with you wherever you go.
For more insights on the journey of parenthood, check out our related post here. And if you’re exploring options for your own parenting journey, consider visiting Make a Mom for at-home insemination kits, or check out Genetics and IVF Institute for reliable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
With all my love,
Mom
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