My husband and I recently enjoyed a long-awaited dinner date with new friends we had met a few months back. Between juggling our schedules and the chaos of young children, it took us a while to finally carve out some time together. We hired sitters, left the kids behind, and immersed ourselves in delightful food and engaging conversation. Sharing stories about toddler mischief, cluttered homes, and family dynamics felt so refreshing—like a breath of fresh air in the daily grind of parenting.
As the evening unfolded, we switched topics, and my husband casually mentioned my background as a songwriter and how I had once auditioned for a popular singing competition show. Our friends were taken aback, clearly unaware of this side of me. “Wow, Emily, that’s impressive! I didn’t realize you played guitar,” they exclaimed.
I paused, slightly stunned. Anyone who knows me understands that music has been a vital part of my life. I’ve spent years singing, strumming the guitar, and crafting songs. But since becoming a mother, it seems that part of me has been overshadowed by the demands of parenthood.
As a stay-at-home mom, I’ve poured all my energy into creating a joyful environment for my son, Max. Every moment has been meticulously planned: from engaging in activities that cater to his budding interests to spending countless hours at playgrounds, splash pads, and parks, discussing nature and life. His world has been carefully curated by me, and I’ve invested so much in making it beautiful that I’ve often neglected my own passions and interests.
Last week, as I introduced myself during a Sunday school gathering, I found myself saying, “Hi, I’m Emily. This is my husband, Jake, and our wonderful 2-year-old son, Max. That’s about it.” I realized then that in my quest to craft the perfect childhood for my son, I had forgotten that his world doesn’t need crafting—it needs exploration. I need to rediscover the things I once cherished and teach him to appreciate the beauty in the ordinary.
Yesterday, I stumbled upon my old guitar, hidden beneath layers of dust. A rush of nostalgia washed over me as I opened the case. I hadn’t played in what felt like ages. As I cradled the instrument, I began plucking the strings, the familiar melodies awakening something deep within me. After an hour of playing and singing an old hymn, I felt a sense of satisfaction and joy that had been missing from my life. It was a reminder that my soul needs nourishment too.
When I think about the future, I envision a conversation with Max that might go something like this: “So, Max, what was your mom like?” My hope is that he will remember the love I gave him and the secure, enriching environment I aimed to create. But I also wish for him to recall the music that filled our home, the joy I found in life, and the struggles I faced. I want him to see me as more than just his mother; I want him to know me as a person who savored life and encouraged him to do the same.
Indeed, I adore motherhood, but I am so much more than just a mother.
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In summary, while motherhood is a significant part of my identity, it is essential to remember that we are multifaceted individuals with passions and dreams that deserve attention. Rediscovering those aspects of ourselves not only enriches our lives but also enhances our ability to nurture our children.
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