As I approach my scheduled c-section in just two weeks, the reality of my current state is hitting hard. Honestly, I can hardly imagine surviving even another day of this pregnancy, let alone waiting out the full four weeks until my due date. The discomfort is intense, and I’m at my wits’ end. Here are ten things that have become downright impossible for me at this stage:
- Putting on Socks and Shoes: I’ve tried every position imaginable—sitting on the bed, lying on the floor, even propping myself against the wall. The only solution has been my partner, Jake, coming to the rescue like I’m a toddler. Seriously, it feels ridiculous!
- Shaving: Let’s just say my shaving routine has become a distant memory. I can barely manage to get my mid-calf and below, and don’t even ask about my lady garden. At this point, I’m certain the medical staff will be too busy with the c-section to worry about my Sasquatch legs.
- Engaging in a Conversation: Just when I think I can chat, bam—contraction city. These aren’t just Braxton Hicks; they feel like the real deal but come at random intervals. It’s gotten to the point where my friends have learned to expect my sudden outbursts of, “Oh no, here it comes!” mid-sentence.
- Rolling Over in Bed: Switching from my left side to my right feels like an Olympic event. I might as well be calling for a forklift to help me out!
- Getting Undressed: The other day, I’m pretty sure I set a world record for the slowest undressing. By the time I finally managed to get into my pajamas, it felt like it was time to wake up for work again!
- Shopping Without a Comment: Walking through the grocery store is a real treat. I can’t escape the endless comments like, “Any day now, huh?” No, not any day soon enough! If only someone could find me some Pitocin to speed things up!
- Entering or Exiting the Bathtub: Getting in and out of the tub feels like trying to relocate a beached whale. If you happen to find me half in and half out with my loofahs as flotation devices, just know Jake is innocent in this situation!
- Getting Up from a Chair: Every time someone tries to help me up, I feel like a garbage truck backing up. There should be a warning: “Wide load coming through!”
- Following Urine Sample Instructions: You want me to do what with wipes? I’d much rather skip that part entirely! It feels like it would be quicker for me to just assume the worst.
- Simply Existing: The joint pain and those delightful cervix jabs from the little one feel like they might just push me over the edge. I’m seriously questioning how much longer I can endure this.
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In summary, late-stage pregnancy can make even the simplest tasks seem monumental. From struggling to put on socks to enduring unexpected contractions mid-conversation, it’s a challenging time. But remember, you are not alone in these experiences!
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