Let me be straightforward: I miss you.
We’ve been friends for two, maybe three decades now. Even though our lives have taken us to different cities, there are moments that hit me hard with nostalgia, and I can almost feel it in my bones. Some days, the longing for our friendship creates a weighty ache, similar to that feeling in your muscles after an intense workout (although, let’s be honest, I haven’t been to a gym lately). There are instances when a wave of homesickness sweeps over me so suddenly that I feel like I’ve been blindsided.
Over the years, we’ve almost adjusted to the reality of our friendship. Nowadays, our communication consists mainly of texts, emails, social media messages, and the rare phone call. For the most part, I’ve come to terms with this setup—it has become our routine. But just because I’ve accepted it doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes wish for a different reality, one where we lived closer, saw each other more, and weren’t constantly busy. I’ll always miss you.
I yearn for the simplicity of our earlier days. I miss how seeing each other was as effortless as stepping across the hallway or picking up the phone to say, “I’ve got some wine—let’s hang out.” I miss those long conversations that meandered for hours, free from time constraints. I miss the comfortable silences we shared, our ease in borrowing each other’s shoes, makeup, and even undergarments without a second thought. I miss our ritualistic viewings of shows like 90210, Party of Five, and later Ally McBeal.
I miss our authenticity, the way we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable. I miss sharing our wildest dreams, untainted by the realities of adulting—like jobs, families, and financial responsibilities. Being together felt like home. But above all, I miss you.
As time has passed, we’ve each forged new friendships—close ones, even—with neighbors, coworkers, and fellow parents. These new bonds are formed through daily interactions, shared interests, and common objectives. I truly appreciate these friendships because we need them to fill the voids that distance has created. They help to light up the shadows of our past and make loneliness a bit more bearable. Yet, they aren’t you.
Life has been racing ahead, sometimes too quickly. Days and weeks blur into one another, filled with piano lessons, soccer games, work meetings, and countless birthday celebrations. Before I know it, years have flown by. But when we do manage to get together—be it a few hours on a Sunday or a quick lunch during a business trip—time seems to stand still, or at least slow down, allowing us to cherish those moments.
We may go through long stretches without a face-to-face conversation, relying on texts and social media, but when we reunite, it feels like we’re back on that worn-out couch from our college days. Though our chats now revolve around kids and spouses rather than our previous escapades, the essence of our friendship remains intact. The familiarity and honesty we share still feel like home.
Beneath the layers of nostalgia lies a robust foundation forged through years of shared experiences. We can step into those timeworn spaces and fill them with laughter, hugs, and heartfelt conversations as if no time has passed at all.
Despite the various paths our lives have taken—whether we are working parents or stay-at-home moms, or whether we hold different political views or reside in different types of neighborhoods—these distinctions seem trivial compared to the strength of our bond. The history we share outweighs any differences, making our friendship richer.
We gather when we can, which is rarely often enough. During these precious moments, we catch up on life, share our experiences, and reflect on how different things are now compared to our pasts. We indulge in nostalgia, laughing until tears stream down our faces. We discuss serious topics—like health struggles, marital challenges, and aging parents—with the comfort of knowing we are heard and understood.
When our brief reunions come to an end, we embrace, say “I love you,” and make plans for our next meeting. Then we return to our daily routines, focusing on our families and nearby friends. We keep the conversation going with emails and texts, sharing glimpses of our lives on social media. Yet, through it all, we feel that familiar ache of missing each other until we gather again. When that time comes, the distance fades, and we can talk and laugh as if no time has passed, if only for a little while.
Until next time…
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Summary
This heartfelt letter reflects on the enduring bonds of friendship despite the passage of time and distance. It captures the nostalgia of past experiences while also embracing the new friendships formed along the way. The message emphasizes the importance of maintaining connections, even when life’s demands pull us in different directions.
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