People often assume my sons are girls. When that happens, I gently correct them, using “he” or “him” instead of “she.” The strangers usually look embarrassed and mumble apologies, as if mistaking my sons for girls is some kind of insult. I brush it off, reassuring them that when your boys sport long hair, such mix-ups are simply part of the package.
I’ve always appreciated long hair on men. In college, I often encouraged my boyfriends to let their hair grow, and I spent countless hours trying to keep my husband from the barber. So when I became a mom to boys, I knew I wanted their hair to grow long.
My eldest son almost derailed my plans. He was born bald and stayed that way for nearly a year. Eventually, his hair started to grow, but instead of falling straight, it puffed out like a little Einstein. In contrast, my second son has long, shiny hair that flows down past his shoulders, resembling a surfer. As for my youngest, he’s still too young to tell, but his curls are already coming in nicely.
Family members have expressed their concerns. My mom and in-laws prefer traditional short styles for little boys. While my in-laws keep their opinions to themselves, my mother doesn’t hold back, wishing she could take the kids for a trim. Their objections stem from a conventional view of gender roles—where boys have short hair and girls have long hair. I choose to ignore these comments.
There have been other criticisms as well. Someone once suggested my boys looked unkempt. At first, I laughed it off, but I soon realized that a little trim can help maintain the hair’s health without sacrificing length. My oldest son’s hair was a bit unruly, fuzzing out in all directions. So, reluctantly, I cut off his baby hair to allow his real hair to flourish. He looked like a little sheep after the cut, but he’s pleased with his shorter style and insists it will grow back.
The most important factor is that my sons enjoy their hair. My oldest is determined to grow it out, while my middle son, with his surfer-style locks, proudly declares that he’s aiming for knee-length hair. The youngest is yet to voice his preference, but when the time comes, I’ll respect his choice—tears or not.
Maintaining long hair does require some effort. My middle son knows that we must be cautious about what gets stuck in it. When that happens, it’s bath time, complete with shampoo and conditioner. I brush his hair every morning, and sometimes I even straighten it, which he claims to enjoy. Regardless, he knows he has to stay still during the process.
Occasionally, other kids mistake them for girls or question why “the girls” are wearing Star Wars shirts. We correct them, and thankfully, most seem to understand. So far, my boys haven’t encountered any mean kids who pick on them for their hair. Perhaps it’s because long-haired boys are becoming more common, or maybe it’s because I surround them with open-minded people.
I love their long, flowing hair. It symbolizes that they have made their own choice about their appearance, rather than conforming to outdated standards. Most importantly, their hair is a reflection of who they are—long, beautiful, and wonderfully different from the norm. And that’s truly remarkable.
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Summary
In this reflection on parenting choices, the author shares her journey of raising sons with long hair. Ignoring societal norms and family pressures, she embraces her children’s choices, highlighting the importance of self-expression and individuality.
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