While you’re still just a child in third grade, I feel it’s time to have a serious conversation—not the one about growing up and relationships, which can wait a few more years. This is about something that’s equally important: sportsmanship and how to handle difficult people.
Remember that volleyball game last fall when I coached your team? The opposing coach was downright rude, and I want to address that behavior. I know it might be a distant memory for you, but the way he treated the referee was a prime example of how not to behave.
He disrespected her authority, belittled her decisions, and even encouraged his players and their parents to heckle anytime a call went our way. You once asked me why he was acting so mean, and it stuck with me.
Having played sports all my life—from dance and softball to volleyball—I’ve seen my fair share of coaches. I’ve also coached youth teams, including competitive ones. It’s clear to me that he was setting a poor example.
The essence of sports lies in learning good sportsmanship. At your age, it’s vital to understand the importance of respect and fairness. It’s about more than just winning or losing; it’s about being a team player, which includes appreciating your coaches, teammates, and referees.
Here’s the truth: referees are essential for the game to function. They are volunteers, often underappreciated, and they deserve our respect. When a coach lashes out at a referee, they’re signaling that winning is all that matters. That mindset teaches kids it’s acceptable to disrespect those in authority. And that’s simply not right.
As you grow, you’ll find that the stakes will get higher, and the complexity of the game will increase. Referees will become more knowledgeable, and understanding the game will be crucial. But right now, when we’re talking about a local volleyball game, it’s fair to give that referee some slack. She’s there out of goodwill to help you play and learn. There are no trophies on the line, just growth and experience.
So, perspective is key. And guess what? I’m not even going to share the final score of that game because, honestly, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you treat others and what you learn from the experience. Only someone truly misguided would focus solely on a win/loss record for a group of eight-year-olds.
Love,
Mom
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