Someone once said, “Honesty is the best policy.” That someone definitely wasn’t me. Go ahead and judge my parenting style, but I’m not above bending the truth with my children. I’m not just referring to the classic childhood myths like Santa or the Easter Bunny; I’m talking about full-on fabrications that help maintain my sanity, save time, and sometimes just add a bit of fun to the chaos of parenting.
Here are seven of my favorite little fibs:
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Your Face Will Freeze Like That
In a few years, my kids will grasp that a few tears or a full-blown tantrum won’t actually lead to a frozen face. But for now, this little exaggeration works wonders at calming my upset child. It’s amazing how a bit of fear can quiet the storm! -
A Fly Will Poop on Your Lip
This gem is a classic passed down from my childhood. Whenever I would pout as a kid, my mother warned me about fly droppings on my face. It sounds ridiculous, but it scared me—and now it’s effective on my four-year-old. Who knew fly poop could be so terrifying? -
That’s Broken
This one is reserved for those pesky automatic rides at the supermarket. Honestly, who has the time to deal with a crying child who just wants to ride a pony for 18 seconds? It’s much easier to stroll past and say, “Sorry, honey, that one’s broken.” Trust me, I’m doing everyone a favor. -
No, You Can’t Have a Bite. That’s Spicy
This is my go-to line when I want to keep a treat all to myself. While I usually share, some snacks, like Klondike Bars, are just too good to share. So when my kids ask for a taste, I simply declare it “too spicy.” They believe me, for now—but I know the jig will be up soon enough. -
I’m Pooping
When I lock the bathroom door, it’s my precious alone time. Sure, I might be scrolling through recipes I’ll never make or enjoying a snack I don’t want to share. My kids buy the “I’m pooping” excuse, and I’m milking it for all it’s worth. After all, a mom needs her moments of peace, right? -
If You Don’t Go to Sleep, Santa Won’t Come
What this really means is, “If you don’t sleep, we’re going to enjoy some wine without you.” While my kids think Santa’s arrival depends on their slumber, I know it’s really about Mom and Dad getting some well-deserved downtime. -
I’ll Take That iPad Away
I’ll admit that I occasionally use screens as babysitters. When my boys get too rowdy, I threaten to take their iPads away. Sometimes I even act like I’m going to grab it from them. Honestly, I need them to be entertained while I tackle my daily to-do list without interruptions.
In all seriousness, I believe in honesty when it counts. While these little lies help me navigate the wild world of parenting, I still prioritize truth when it matters most. For more on navigating the challenges of parenting, check out this blog post.
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Summary
Parenting often requires a bit of creativity when it comes to bending the truth. From playful lies about frozen faces to keeping the iPad in their hands, these seven white lies are designed to ease the daily challenges of raising kids while maintaining a sense of humor.
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