Recently, a comment on my Facebook page (which has a respectable following!) claimed that my use of the cry-it-out method had shattered my child’s trust in me, while another user labeled me as unkind and heartless. These were opinions from individuals I’ve never met, who have no knowledge of my parenting journey or the unique bond I share with my child. They weren’t privy to my son’s reactions or the context behind my decisions.
I typically don’t take offense easily. However, hearing complete strangers accuse me of jeopardizing my relationship with my child and neglecting his well-being because they disagree with my sleep-training approach hit hard.
Feel free to judge me for using the cry-it-out method, for allowing my kids to indulge in a bit too much screen time, for the number of toys I provide, for co-sleeping, or even for sharing candid moments about parenting on my blog. I can take it. Some of the critiques might even hold water. But one thing is clear: you can critique my methods, but never question the love I have for my children.
We often find ourselves assessing each other’s choices—be it lifestyle, fashion, or even our taste in music. Judging others is a natural instinct. When it comes to parenting, things get even more intense. Everyone feels a vested interest, as children are our most precious treasures.
Every parent approaches child-rearing differently, and that’s perfectly understandable. Each of us is an individual, just as our children are distinct in their own right. There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy for raising kids, which is why we often encounter different parenting styles that prompt us to question why others choose differently. After all, if our kids are thriving, don’t we all want to replicate that success?
I can admit that I have my opinions, yet I strive to respect the choices of others (with a few exceptions, like vaccinations and safety issues). However, it’s human nature to form judgments. It’s ingrained in us. While we can work to rise above it, we often hold opinions about how others manage their parenting—often without knowing the full story.
What truly crosses the line is when we begin to judge a parent’s intentions. It’s easy to look at a parent who appears to be struggling and think they don’t care or are intentionally harming their child. But that assumption is a dangerous one. Unless you possess concrete evidence—much more substantial than mere observations—you must consider that the “faulty” parenting you witness may stem from a place of love.
Parenting styles vary based on countless factors, including culture, circumstances, and personal philosophies. The one undeniable truth, the thread that ties us all together, is the love we have for our children. Everything we do, no matter how unconventional it may seem to others, is ultimately for their benefit.
I might not align with you on every parenting choice you make. However, I believe we can agree on one fundamental aspect: our motivation to parent stems from an unwavering love for our kids. And I would never presume otherwise. Neither should you.
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In essence, while we may all have differing views on parenting styles, the core motivation remains the same: love. Let’s keep that in mind as we navigate the complexities of raising our children.
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