By: Jessica Lane
Updated: Feb. 1, 2023
Originally Published: Feb. 1, 2023
Back in the days when I was out and about with my youngest nestled in a front carrier, while my older kids were securely strapped in the double stroller, I frequently caught the eye of seasoned mothers. They’d pass by, their expressions filled with nostalgia, offering a wistful, “I miss those days. Enjoy them while they last! They grow up so fast!” Their words hung in the air, familiar yet somehow distant, as I’d been hearing this since I first embraced motherhood.
Deep down, I understood their sentiment. Children do grow up—of course they do—but in the thick of diaper changes and toddler tantrums, it felt as if the days would stretch on forever. When you’re navigating the whirlwind of motherhood, how do you even process such advice?
From the moment my firstborn entered the world, I became his entire universe. At just five days old, he recognized my voice, immediately searching for me, and I could feel his overwhelming need for my presence. There were times when my husband would have to lift him up just so he could catch a glimpse of me, even if I was merely trying to sneak in a shower.
Eventually, I reached my breaking point. I couldn’t take the weight of my child’s neediness anymore, nor could my husband’s shoulders bear the strain, so when I stumbled upon a clear shower curtain at a discount store, I knew I found the solution to our sanity. Now, my little one could see me completely, and I could finally enjoy a moment of privacy—well, sort of.
My son and I shared a deep bond, filled with its share of highs and lows. It was hard to discern where I ended, and he began. At three years old, when I’d ask him what he wanted for lunch, his reply was always, “What Mama has!” Those early days were a complete immersion in motherhood. I adored him, yet at the same time, I was terrified that this consuming experience would never change.
I was unaware of the ebb and flow of parenting seasons, much like when I thought my son’s finger-sucking habit would be a permanent fixture. Each phase, from his climbing antics to his dramatic naptime protests, felt like an unchanging reality. But life is fluid, and while we can see other kids growing up, it’s hard to grasp that our turn will come too.
Fast forward to the moment my baby, who once believed that I was his sole source of air, headed off to college, leaving me to figure out how to breathe without him. Suddenly, I was the one searching for my own place to fit in. The memories of holding his small body close are some of my most cherished, yet I never anticipated how quickly those moments would pass.
It’s astounding how swiftly childhood slips away. One day, you’re bending down to button up their size 2T onesies, and the next, you’re standing beside them, arms raised to help with their graduation tie. Childhood, while it may feel permanent in the moment, is fleeting.
As I heard those older moms on the bike path reminding me to savor every moment, I wanted to express my gratitude. But how could I convey that while I appreciated their well-meaning words, I was lost in the chaos of early motherhood? It’s only when you reach the end of the journey that you can look back and truly see where you started. During those initial parenting years, when advice poured in to “appreciate every moment,” I craved a single second to myself. Those early days are a trial by fire, and no one can truly prepare you for it.
It’s a beautiful yet chaotic experience, loving every minute while simultaneously losing pieces of yourself. How do you articulate to someone that both joy and struggle coexist in parenting? That you can’t separate them, and would anyone really believe you if you tried?
That’s why phrases like “Enjoy them while they’re little!” often ring hollow. I find myself wanting to share that sentiment with new moms, but I hold back because I know it’s an impossible projection from their current perspective. When you’re exhausted, surviving on minimal sleep and cleaning up after little ones who’ve turned your kitchen into a food battlefield, who can genuinely embrace the notion of enjoying every moment?
Had you told me that one day my 20-pound baby, who would scream for me behind the shower curtain while I desperately tried to take a three-minute shower, would soon tower over me at almost 6 feet tall and be reaching for the car keys, I would have thought you were describing someone else’s child. Surely, my little one would always need to see me in his line of sight, right?
If there’s one thing I’d like to share with new parents, it’s this: Smile when you can, cry when you must, and remember that the place you are in now is simply part of the beautiful journey of life. You don’t need me to remind you to cherish those little moments—I trust you’re already doing it in your own unique way, just as I did.
For more insights on navigating parenting, check out some of our other posts, like this one on the beauty of early parenting. And if you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom offers reliable kits to support your journey. Additionally, for those exploring fertility treatments, March of Dimes is an excellent resource.
In summary, while the days might feel long, the years are undeniably short. Embrace every fleeting moment of your children’s early years and remember that each stage carries its own beauty.
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