“I just can’t take it anymore. The voices are louder, and I feel trapped. It’s getting harder, and I don’t want to live anymore. Please, I need help.” As she sits across from me, her words are heavy with desperation and fear, tears streaming down her face. I notice her trembling hands, the only thing she feels she can exert control over in this moment.
After gathering herself, she reluctantly answers a few questions—the ones I, as a school counselor, dread to ask. There are three key ones I always start with. Sometimes, it’s best to dive right in; they know what’s coming.
- “Are you thinking about hurting yourself—about ending your life?”
- “Do you have a plan?”
- “Do you have the means to carry it out?”
For some reason, the last question weighs the heaviest. After 15 years of asking these questions, the answer to the third feels particularly definitive. If a young person is prepared enough to have a means to execute their plan, we may be on the brink of losing them.
Conversations like this occur every day, whether in a counselor’s office, a classroom, or among friends. If these discussions are happening, there is hope. It’s the conversations that remain unspoken that we fear the most—the ones where individuals have already answered those questions silently and withdrawn from us.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there were 42,773 reported suicides in 2014, making it the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. Tragically, this means that on average, someone dies by suicide every 12.3 minutes. There is a strong link between depression and youth suicide; for individuals aged 10 to 24, suicide ranks as the third leading cause of death, claiming approximately 4,600 young lives each year. The primary methods of suicide among young people include firearms (45%), suffocation (40%), and poisoning (8%).
However, death by suicide is just part of the issue. More young individuals survive their attempts than those who succumb. A nationwide survey of students in grades 9 to 12 revealed that 16% considered suicide seriously, 13% created a plan, and 8% attempted to take their own life within the past year.
One particular morning remains etched in my memory. It was winter, and the dim light in my office came from a small lamp. I had just arrived at work and noticed a shadow in one of my chairs. I felt a wave of apprehension; I wasn’t expecting anyone this early.
Sitting there was the student I worried about the most. He was the one I thought about during my evenings, anxious about his well-being. Head down and hands trembling, he looked up at me, tears in his eyes. “I almost did it last night,” he whispered, his voice shaky but grave.
I wanted to jump into my routine of questions, but I paused and simply listened. “I was in my room with a loaded gun, it was in my mouth, and my finger was on the trigger when I heard it—my mom. She had just come home and called my name. I stopped.”
Even years later, I feel a pang of sorrow for him. His pain, isolation, and hopelessness were overwhelming, making death seem like the only escape. I often reflect on that moment—the interruption brought by his mother calling out to him, a pivotal moment that ultimately saved his life.
Time
is what we emphasize with youth. Many express a fleeting urge to end their lives. If they can endure that moment, they may not go through with it. If they lack access to means, they often wake up the following day. Sometimes, an interruption—a simple call from a loved one—can provide the help they need before the urge returns. Having a lifeline, someone they trust, can make all the difference.
Trust
is vital. Identifying a person they can confide in, who they can open up to without fear of judgment, is critical in our mission to save lives.
Connections
matter. A genuine human connection can be incredibly powerful. When it feels like no one understands, a caring hand reaching out might be the first step toward seeking assistance.
While I don’t have a definitive answer for how to reduce these tragic losses, I do know that our youth need us now more than ever. They need to see hope reflected in our eyes and feel heard and accepted when they reach out. We must help them realize they are not alone in a world that often feels isolating.
We need to remind them to hold on. There is help. There is hope. Their story doesn’t have to end in despair.
For more insights on this vital topic, check out this linked blog post on youth suicide prevention. If you’re considering options for starting a family, reputable retailers like Make a Mom offer at-home insemination kits. For more information on fertility and related topics, the Cleveland Clinic’s podcast on IVF and fertility preservation is an excellent resource.
In summary, youth suicide is a pressing issue that requires our attention and action. Open communication, trust, and connections can provide the hope that young people desperately need. Together, we can work towards a future where fewer lives are lost to this tragedy.
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