Dear Mia,
This marks the second time in just a fortnight that you’ve chosen to name an object “Lipstick.” I believe it’s time to put an end to this. You’re only 4! If you want to call that tiny bear Chapstick, by all means, go for it. But this Lipstick trend? Let’s wrap it up. And while you’re pondering that, let me remind you once more: my makeup brushes are not your new keys!
Your time for lipstick will come, but in the meantime, let me share some important insights with you.
Not Everyone Needs to Be Elsa
As Halloween approached last October, I felt a bit smug. Out of the 16 girls in your class, about five were set on being Elsa. You had your heart set on being Peter Pan, and I had already bought the costume. I had my reservations; Peter Pan isn’t exactly a role model in progressive narratives. Still, I figured a charming and imaginative character might be a good fit for you.
However, on Halloween morning, you woke up determined to be Headband Girl. I was puzzled at first and tried to steer you back to Peter Pan. But you were resolute, insisting on your choice. So, off you went in your colorful cape and multiple headbands, ready to conquer the day.
As I snapped photos, you told me the rope in your pocket was for rescuing people from lakes. In that moment, I realized your superhero was uniquely yours, and perhaps you were even more progressive than I had thought.
But then, the following week, a classmate came over, and I found both of you in tears over wanting to be Elsa. This brings me to my next point.
Everyone Can Be Elsa
I know it sounds like I’m contradicting myself, but hear me out. Every person—and especially every woman—carries the potential for strength, power, and the ability to inspire others. Just because you want to be Elsa doesn’t mean someone else can’t aspire to that too. The world is vast enough for many Elsas. Embrace that.
As you saw in Frozen, societal pressures will sometimes urge you to hide your strength, to wield your power in solitude. But don’t let that be your path. Share your power with others. Collaborate with fellow women. The world isn’t used to witnessing women supporting each other in their strength, so make that a reality.
It’s Not Happily Ever After If You Give Up Your Mermaid Tail
Speaking of princesses, I know how much you adore Ariel. Mermaids are enchanting, effortlessly exploring the ocean’s secrets—places we can only reach with heavy gear. Plus, Ariel’s singing draws people in, much like how your teachers encourage you to sing in class.
There’s something about that siren song that captivates, and while Ariel may not have a traditional command over it, she does have a powerful voice that others envy. You, too, hold a unique magic. You created your superhero after all! But remember this: you don’t have to sacrifice your mermaid tail for a happy ending. You can be true to yourself while seeking fulfillment.
Pursue your dreams, but never at the expense of your identity. Your mermaid tail is your signature—it’s what makes you, you.
You’re Still Not Getting My Lipstick
As I dive deeper into these lessons, I find myself detouring into my feminist agenda. So let me bring it back to the lipstick. You’ve been applying that shiny lip gloss and asking, “Do I look beautiful?” I worry about this habit. You are beautiful—always have been. Your beauty comes from the light within you, not from any gloss. That sparkle in your eyes is the true magic that I see. You don’t need anything else, my dear. You are bright and incredible, just as you are.
Keep marching forward, my sweet Mia.
Love,
Mom
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