8 Thoughts I Have While Dinnertime with My Kids

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I feel grateful that I can provide meals for my children each evening. However, there are moments during dinner when I find myself wishing I could sneak away to a quiet place, far from the chaos of persuading little ones to eat. Here are eight recurring thoughts that cross my mind while I’m wrangling my kids at the dinner table:

1. Just swallow already!
   Honestly, how long can a single bite of food linger in a child’s mouth? It’s like watching paint dry. Please, for the love of all that is good, just swallow that piece of chicken before I lose my mind completely.
2. How can your favorite dish be the enemy now?
   Didn’t you declare this as your “absolute favorite” just last week? I made enough for a small army based on your raving reviews, and now you’re turning your nose up at it? When I love something, I could eat it every day and never complain!
3. Wait, you think that smells bad?
   What kind of taste bud betrayal is this? You scrunch your nose at the scent of fried chicken or pizza? It’s literally comfort food! My mouth waters just thinking about it, and you’re acting like it’s a science experiment gone wrong.
4. Are you really full after just three bites?
   Just 15 minutes ago, you were pleading for food, and now you’re declaring yourself stuffed after three bites? I need to bottle whatever magic you’ve got going on because when I’m starving, I could eat a horse!
5. What’s the deal with food touching?
   So, one tiny morsel of mashed potatoes grazes your chicken, and now the whole plate is a culinary disaster? Really? If ketchup accidentally touches your green beans, the meal is ruined? Where are my keys? I need an escape plan.
6. I’m actually doing this.
   Here I am, meticulously picking out every speck of green from your meal because you’ve decided that parsley is a dealbreaker. You’re seriously asking for a new meal because a chef dared to chop a scallion? I’m like a food surgeon at this point, and I’m determined to make sure you eat.
7. Please don’t tell me to let them be when they’ve barely touched their food.
   I hear you, Aunt Susan, and I appreciate your wisdom. But when my kid skips breakfast and turns into a little monster, you won’t be around to help. And when they skip dinner, only to be “hungry” at midnight, I’ll be the one suffering. So, let’s agree to disagree on this one.
8. How can you not want dessert?
   I get it, it’s healthier if you pass on that chocolate mousse cake, but how is that even possible? You have a guilt-free opportunity to indulge, and you’re saying “no”? You’re a mystery wrapped in a riddle, and it’s clear you didn’t inherit that from me.

Despite the dinner table drama, I’ll persevere. I’ll keep serving nutritious meals and coaxing them to eat until they’re grown. One day, when they come home from college lamenting about the dreaded “freshman 15,” I’ll remind them of all the times I had to beg them to eat. Then, we can all share a laugh over ice cream together.

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Summary:

Dinnertime with kids can be a chaotic and hilarious experience, filled with tricky negotiations over food preferences and surprises. This article captures the relatable thoughts of a parent navigating the ups and downs of mealtime, underscoring the challenges and humor inherent in feeding children.