So, guess what I received for Christmas? You guessed it! It’s none other than “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.” I can only imagine that someone well-intentioned in your life, perhaps your mother-in-law, handed it to you with that all-too-familiar knowing smile. You know the one—the kind that implies she has an endless reservoir of patience for your shortcomings. But honestly, can’t we all tidy up just a bit more? Hint, hint, nudge, nudge.
When I first cracked open Marie Kondo’s book, it was out of pure curiosity. What’s this magic she speaks of? Did it involve a troop of tiny elves who would follow my kids around, picking up their abandoned toys and reminding them not to grind snacks into the carpet? Because let me tell you, that sounds like a dream come true. Or maybe she had discovered a way to convince my partner that keeping every broken electronic device we’ve ever owned isn’t necessary. With the holidays behind us, I was desperate for a solution. After all, we’re all buried under a mountain of possessions, and I craved some breathing room.
To start, Kondo presented some valid points. According to the KonMari Method, everything in your home should have a designated spot. We all need to declutter. Toss out the excess. Sure, I was on board with that. I envisioned bags of outdated birthday party favors and stuffed toys making their way to the curb. But then things took a turn for the bizarre, reminiscent of that one eccentric relative who insists on discussing the mystical properties of crystals at every family gathering.
I attempted to stick with it. However, when I reached the part where Kondo suggests that it’s best to take your bottles of shampoo and soap with you into the shower every time, cheerfully drying them off and thanking them for their service, I lost it. Who has time for that? Seriously! It became painfully clear that the author exists in a completely different universe from mine and from every parent I know. Here are just a few of her charmingly impractical suggestions:
- Socks should never be rolled or folded together; this tires them out. They need relaxation time in the drawer after their hard day of keeping your feet warm.
- Off-season clothing should not be stored away; your wardrobe items deserve love and may feel neglected if hidden for months.
- Every time you return home, empty your handbag completely, placing everything into a designated box, only to pack it all up again before leaving.
What on earth, lady? I get that you live alone, and perhaps Japanese children are tidier than their American counterparts, but do I really need to treat my belongings with the same care I give to people? Absolutely not. The daily exhaustion of managing the people in my life already has me stretched thin. The thought of my possessions having expectations of me—heavy, judgmental expectations—is downright overwhelming. I have a toddler who believes she owns every second of my time. Sorry, my beloved leather boots, you’ll just have to wait your turn.
Kondo repeatedly emphasizes that to decide what to keep, you should pick up each item, hold it for a moment, close your eyes, and connect with your inner spirit. The question to ask is, “Does this spark joy for me?” If you feel even a flicker of joy, keep it; otherwise, toss it. The KonMari Method is fraught with issues. Following it would likely result in me tossing out all my toilet paper and at least one of my kids—and we all know that won’t end well.
So, here’s a suggestion for Kondo: try my methods to determine what sparks joy and let me know how that goes for you:
- Comfort a child covered in vomit from a midnight flu episode while explaining why they need to go to school smelling like sickness because you couldn’t spare a hand to grab the soap.
- When your partner is furious because you’ve discarded their collection of vintage magazines, calmly explain that they didn’t spark joy for you—not even a little.
- Attempt to gather all the essentials from your handbag after your toddler has claimed them as her “treasures,” while already running late for work. Good luck finding them under her bed!
If Kondo can still find joy in a day filled with the chaos of my family’s mess, then more power to her. I eagerly await her next bestseller, “The Art of Getting Your Children to Stop Leaving Their Clothes on the Floor.” Now that would truly spark joy for me.
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In summary, tidying up can feel like an overwhelming chore, especially when balancing the demands of family life. While the KonMari Method offers some useful principles, it may not be practical for everyone. Finding joy in the chaos of parenting is a journey all its own.
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