As mothers, we surrender many of our previous indulgences, and that’s just part of the journey. Those peaceful Sundays in our pajamas, sipping coffee, and getting lost in a good book? Gone. The laid-back brunches filled with mimosas and laughter with friends—those are long gone too. Now, the only texts popping up while we’re trying to enjoy a moment of calm are messages like, “Hey, if our little one fell and bumped his head, what’s the plan? And where did you put the Band-Aids?” It’s evident that the carefree days fade away once we take on the beautiful chaos of motherhood. But one ritual remains: our showers. Yes, that essential 15 minutes a day to maintain our cleanliness and sanity still exists—at least in theory.
Before Kids: A Shower Experience Like No Other
- Turn on the hot water while you inspect your skin in the mirror.
- Add a few drops of lavender essential oil to the shower. Wait! Eucalyptus sounds better—yes, definitely eucalyptus.
- Disrobe and glance at yourself in the mirror, wishing you weren’t so “fat” (if only you knew!).
- Step into the shower.
- Begin with a foot pumice, scrubbing away any dead skin with a peppermint foot scrub you made on a whim.
- Lather up with a loofah for most of your body, but use an exfoliating glove for the backs of your arms (they’ve been a bit rough lately).
- Now for the hair: shampoo twice—first with purple shampoo to maintain that perfect blonde, followed by an extra hydrating color-lock formula. Rinse, lather, repeat.
- Apply your conditioner (which must sit for a minimum of 7 minutes).
- Shave. Shave everything. Even the peach fuzz on your big toe—because who wants to be noticed for that?
- Treat yourself to a deep pore steam facial: cleanse, exfoliate, and hydrate before rinsing and repeating.
- Step out of the shower.
- You’ll need two towels: one for your hair, perfectly wrapped, and one for your body.
- Towel off, but don’t dry completely! It’s best to apply lotion while still slightly damp.
- Moisturize: start with your face, then move on to the body and hair—eye cream, serum, hydrating cream, and sunscreen for the face, followed by bikini line serum, foot cream, coconut oil, and bronzing lotion for the body. Finish with color seal serum, styling cream, and light split-end oil for your hair.
- Slip into a robe that your partner warmed in the dryer, embracing the comfort on your perfectly hydrated skin!
After Kids: A Whole New Shower Reality
- Quietly sneak into the bathroom after putting the baby down for a nap.
- Step into the shower and turn it on. It’s freezing cold, but time is limited, so you push through.
- Bring your toothbrush along. Brush your teeth while you pump soap into your other hand.
- Soap’s gone? Time to improvise with shampoo.
- Wash as much of your body as you can with one hand while brushing your teeth with the other.
- Finally, the water warms up!
- Turn off the water and step out.
- Grab a wet towel from the floor—thanks to your partner for that one—and quickly dry off.
- Slip into yesterday’s yoga pants and a tee!
So, the next time you find yourself behind a perfectly polished, child-free woman in line, just smile. Remember, you once were that woman. But now, you know that the title of “Mom” is far more rewarding than any corporate title out there. One day, she too may find herself wondering how she transitioned from sleek heels to “Oh no, I’m still in slippers.”
For more insights on motherhood and the journey of parenting, check out this post here. And if you’re looking for at-home insemination solutions, visit Make a Mom for reliable options. You can also find valuable information on pregnancy at Healthline.
In summary, motherhood transforms every aspect of our lives, including our beloved shower routines. From indulgent self-care to quick, survival-mode cleanses, the journey is a testament to the beauty and chaos of parenting.
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