Parenting
By Olivia Harper
Updated: May 13, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 2, 2016
There she stands beneath my 3-year-old, arms raised as if waiting for divine intervention. My little one is shimmying up a 6-foot metal ladder. “Do you know whose he is?” she asks, her voice trembling.
“He’s mine,” I reply. “And he’s been climbing that ladder since he was 2.”
Her shocked expression tells me everything I need to know: She’s a hoverer. If I don’t keep an eye on my kids, she will, casting judgment every step of the way. Thanks for ruining my mom playdate, lady.
At the Park: Two Types of Parents
I often take my kids to the park for various reasons—so they can interact with their peers, learn to navigate their surroundings, and test their limits. Can I scale this ladder? If not, there’s always next time. They run, scream, form friendships, and engage in all those delightful activities kids do while I connect with my fellow moms. That’s my park experience: keeping watch from afar as they grow.
However, some parents seem to have a different agenda. These hoverers come to the park solely to engage with their children. They’re not content to remain on the sidelines; they must be right there, guiding Junior up the steps or gently bouncing him on the seesaw. Climbing the slide? Not on their watch. Testing limits? Forget it.
The rounded edges of playgrounds and cushioned ground aren’t enough for these moms. They need to be right there, arms extended as if ready to catch a falling child. They follow strict age guidelines and, in doing so, spoil the fun for the rest of us.
Hoverers at the Playground
Here’s how it usually unfolds: I’m chatting with fellow moms at a picnic table, one even knitting, while another steals glances at her phone. Suddenly, my youngest attempts to conquer a platform just a tad too high for him.
“Where’s your mommy?” comes the overly sweet, disapproving voice. “I’ll help you up.” Cue the stink-eye.
Now I must rise from my bench to supervise my child because if he can’t climb up, he surely can’t get down.
These hoverers follow my kids around, arms outstretched, as they attempt to scale ladders, tackle rock walls, or swing on monkey bars. “He’s making me nervous,” they might laugh awkwardly, searching for someone to blame.
These moms enforce park rules that are more about their fears than actual safety. “Up the stairs and down the slide,” they announce, watching my kids until I finally intervene with a casual, “Let’s not climb up the slide, kids.” But let’s be real; as long as there’s no line, climbing the slide is part of the fun.
No sticks allowed on the playground. No roughhousing. No tossing pinecones—even if they’re not aimed at anyone. And heaven forbid anyone goes barefoot or without a shirt! (My son just got soaked at the splash pad.)
And certainly, no mud play. God forbid their precious child might want to get dirty, too.
Encouraging Independence
I don’t visit the park to parent; I’m there to give my kids a taste of independence within reasonable limits. I want them to explore and be kids. Yet, when hoverers glare at me or worse, physically move my child where he can’t reach, they ruin it for everyone.
Hey, Hoverer, when your arms tire from supporting Junior, why not join us at the bench? It’s nice here in the shade, and we’re a welcoming group. Who knows? Maybe Junior will make some friends, run around, and actually have some fun.
In the meantime, please keep your hovering to yourself. If you’re interested in exploring more about nurturing independence in children, check out our piece on family building options. And for those seeking at-home insemination solutions, this reputable retailer offers excellent kits. You can also read more about our experiences here.
In summary, while it’s essential to keep our children safe, sometimes a little freedom is what they need to learn and grow. Let’s give them the space to explore while we connect with each other.
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