As I navigate the complexities of being both a doctor and a mother, I often come across written reflections from colleagues who express their frustrations. These physicians voice their disillusionment, revealing the challenges of practicing medicine in a world dominated by patient satisfaction surveys and online health resources that undermine their expertise. They lament the increasing trend of patients arriving armed with self-diagnoses and demands for specific tests. It’s easy to relate to their sentiments.
Yet, what’s often overlooked is what keeps us grounded and committed to our calling.
Take, for instance, my patient in room 4. She’s 10 weeks pregnant and visibly anxious about the possibility of a miscarriage. Distracting herself with her curly-haired toddler, she tries to mask her fear. After ultrasound and blood tests, the grim news is confirmed. As I deliver the heart-wrenching verdict, she adjusts her daughter’s outfit, fighting back tears to maintain a brave facade. I sit beside her, holding her hand and offering a glimmer of hope. Before I leave, she squeezes my hand tightly, a poignant reminder of the human connection we share.
Then there’s my patient in room 3, a 92-year-old woman nearing the end of her journey. Her daughter is by her side, reflecting on a past filled with family gatherings, including Thanksgiving with 17 great-grandchildren. Today, though, she has chosen comfort over intervention, wanting to spend her final days surrounded by love. When her son requests that we allow his mother to pass with dignity, we turn off the monitors and dim the lights, creating a serene environment. The daughter clutches a necklace we had removed during initial assessments, whispering tenderly to her mother as I rub her back. In that moment, all I want to do is fulfill her simple request of putting that necklace around her neck. The bustle of the emergency room fades, leaving only the weight of this emotional exchange. A month later, I receive a holiday card from her son, thanking me for honoring his mother’s dignity during her final moments. That card, adorned with evergreens and glitter, now sits in my collection of cherished memories, a reminder of how profoundly these experiences affect me.
In room 8, a pair of exhausted first-time parents brings in their inconsolable 3-month-old son. They’ve visited their pediatrician countless times, but at 2 a.m., the emergency department is their only option. As we check for any underlying issues, I share my own experience with my son, who also cried incessantly at that age. We bond over the unique challenges of sleepless nights and the absurdities of sleep deprivation. Their relief is palpable as they realize they are not alone in this struggle. They leave with their beloved son, still crying, yet with a renewed sense of hope.
The reality is, I entered medicine believing that through hard work and knowledge, I could make a difference in people’s lives during their most vulnerable moments. What I’ve learned is that medicine is deeply rooted in compassion. Yet, being a physician often involves navigating confrontation and conflict. It’s crucial to maintain a work-life balance, ensuring that I can also embrace my roles as a mother, daughter, and wife.
There are moments, however, that resonate deeply within me, echoing in my mind long after the patient has left. These moments remind me of why I continue to do this work. The feelings of wanting to step away occasionally creep in, and I find myself holding my breath, bracing for my breaking point. But then, I receive a hand squeeze, a heartfelt card, or simply the knowledge that I’ve helped someone feel less alone. These experiences act like a reset button, reminding me that it’s all worth it.
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Ultimately, while the challenges of being a doctor and a mother are significant, they are also intertwined with profound moments of connection and fulfillment that keep me moving forward.
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