If I had truly grasped the depths of sleep deprivation before becoming a parent…
If I had understood the sheer volume of bodily fluids I would be cleaning up throughout my children’s formative years…
If I had realized how the constant refrain of “Mom? Mom? Mom?” could wear on my last nerve after a decade of repetition…
If I had known that I’d sometimes extend my time in the bathroom, just to steal a moment of solitude…
If I had known those precious few moments would almost always be disrupted by tiny hands pounding on the door…
If I had understood how frequently I would need to repeat the same instructions, over and over again…
If I had known that every “expert” solution for whining, crying, disobedience, and disrespect would often fall flat…
If I had known that loving my children wouldn’t always mean liking them…
If I had known I’d find myself crying in the shower for a much-needed release…
If I had known I would feel so touched-out by the end of some days that the idea of intimacy with my partner would seem unappealing…
If I had known that I’d never be able to fully focus on anything again…
If I had known that as they grow, the challenges would only shift and change…
If I had known I’d feel a pang of fear daily, worrying that I’m failing at motherhood…
If I had known just how relentless parenting would be…
I would still choose to have my children. Because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t understand the miracle of nurturing a human being from a tiny speck to an entire person within me.
I wouldn’t know that the scent of a newborn’s head is a glimpse of heaven.
I wouldn’t know the enchantment of having a baby drift off in my arms, hesitant to let go.
I wouldn’t know the incomparable joy of witnessing my child take their first steps, use the potty, ride a bike, or read an entire book.
I wouldn’t know that the sound of my child’s laughter can brighten even the darkest days.
I wouldn’t know how an innocent, wide-eyed gaze can pierce right through me.
I wouldn’t know the joy of watching a person I helped create unfold daily.
I wouldn’t know the pride that comes from seeing my children handle tough situations using the skills and values I’ve instilled in them.
I wouldn’t know the overwhelming joy that comes from their triumphs.
I wouldn’t know the unexpected grace that emerges from the constant struggle to improve as a parent.
I wouldn’t know how parenting can heal the wounds of my own childhood.
I wouldn’t know how losing myself in motherhood would lead me to discover a stronger, more authentic version of myself.
I wouldn’t know the warm, sweet feeling of being loved in a way only a mother can be.
I wouldn’t know the fierce power of a mother’s love.
And I would never realize that the challenges along the way are ultimately eclipsed by the beauty, joy, and wonder of the journey.
If I had known what motherhood was really like, I’d do it all again. (I’d just make sure to catch more sleep when I had the chance.)
For those looking to delve deeper into the world of parenting and the journey that comes with it, check out this insightful post on our blog. And if you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom offers reliable at-home insemination kits that can support your journey. Additionally, the CDC’s resource on pregnancy and home insemination is invaluable for anyone looking to navigate this path.
In summary, while the challenges of motherhood can be daunting, the love, joy, and wonder that come from this journey make it all worthwhile.
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