Right after tying the knot, I took my husband’s hand and playfully suggested, “Let’s start a family.” And that’s precisely what we did. Before we knew it, three little ones burst into our lives, transforming everything in our household.
These days, our “dirty talk” has taken on a whole new meaning—it’s more about deciphering the odors in the room: “What is that smell? Didn’t you just change him?” or “You’ve got baby vomit in your beard!” and even, “Why did you just let her eat that booger?” Our version of foreplay? A cheeky eyebrow wiggle. It seems like there’s never enough time for anything.
In our family dynamic, one of us tends to be the fun parent, while the other takes on the role of the disciplinarian. While these roles can shift, the kids instinctively know who to approach for ice cream runs or who’s going to enforce bedtime. The fun parent gets to say yes to all the exciting stuff, while the disciplinarian handles the less glamorous tasks, like dealing with tantrums. Sometimes there are disagreements about it, but mostly, we appreciate each other’s strengths, recognizing that the other has a tough job.
When a nostalgic song plays, we share a knowing glance, even if it’s amidst the chaos of a diaper change while holding a pacifier upside down. My husband can sense my mood swings long before I even notice; my hormones have taken on a life of their own since having kids. He adapts, choosing his words wisely because, let’s face it, he values his peace.
We try not to keep score of who does what, but inevitably, we find ourselves reminding each other about who last took the dog out or who changed the last diaper. We even turn mundane tasks into a competition, like “Let’s See Who Can Go the Longest Without Taking Out the Trash.” But just when we think we’re at a standoff, one of us does something sweet, and it’s a reminder that the little things matter more than chores.
There are moments when one of us is running low on patience, but somehow the other knows just how to step up and make everything okay. We’ve seen each other at our worst; we want to protect our kids and, most importantly, each other.
We can tell when our partner is genuinely sleeping versus when they’re just pretending—like when one of the kids is having a rough night. Sometimes, a gentle nudge is enough, while other times, it’s all about plotting revenge.
When we can’t find a babysitter but crave some quality time, we might put the kids to bed early after a quick chicken nugget dinner. We’ll fire up the grill for steaks and risotto, share a whole apple pie, and revel in stories of our wonderful children.
We often reminisce about our honeymoon and the adventures we had before becoming parents, yet we get excited planning family trips to places that hold special memories for us. When our little angel lets out a curse word, we exchange wide-eyed glances, both of us holding back laughter, knowing full well that neither of us will reprimand the other.
Each milestone—first bath, first steps, first successful potty trip—is a shared joy. If one of us isn’t there to witness it, we’re quick to reach for our phones to share the excitement, knowing we both want to celebrate these moments together.
A subtle tap on the shoulder during a particularly adorable moment from our child is our unspoken signal: “Look, but don’t let them see!”
Watching shows that aren’t kid-friendly has become our guilty pleasure—like a scandalous date night after finally getting the kids to bed. The thrill of indulging in content we usually shield our children from feels like a little slice of luxury.
Ultimately, parenting while married feels like home. Together, we navigate the highs and lows, learning from our missteps and celebrating our triumphs. It’s all about those cherished date nights, shared milestones, and those little eyebrow wiggles that remind us we’re still a team. And when our children grow up and leave the nest, I have no doubt we’ll still find joy in sharing an apple pie, reminiscing about how brilliant they turned out.
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