As I step up to share some insights about divorced women, I want to address a few common misconceptions that seem to persist. To the anonymous individual behind that questionable Facebook profile—no, we’re not interested in your direct messages or your unsolicited photos.
And to the trolls lurking in Facebook groups for divorced women—whether they focus on parenting, crafts, or photography—we didn’t join to entertain you or to be swept off our feet. We’re not a threat to married women, either. Our past relationships didn’t work out for a reason; we have no desire to interfere in yours.
Let’s set the record straight: the stereotype of the newly divorced woman as a wandering soul, desperate for validation and attention, is fundamentally flawed. Divorce does not equate to promiscuity. It doesn’t mean we are on the lookout for any man who shows interest.
What many may not realize is that what divorced women truly seek after a separation is far more profound. We are grappling with fears about our children’s well-being in the wake of our split. We yearn for reassurance that we can thrive on our own after years of partnership. We want to ensure that our financial situation—whether it involves income or child support—will adequately support our families.
We’re also wishing for a bit of magic, hoping the laundry will fold itself and the floors will magically clean. We want to know if we can once again find joy in intimacy, but it’s essential that any future partner respects us as individuals. We hold on to the hope that love is still possible, even if we’ve seen it falter in our previous marriage.
Friendships become crucial during this time—true friends who can pull us back from the edge when we feel overwhelmed. We need someone to give us a reality check when we find ourselves perhaps a little too carefree during karaoke night.
What we don’t need are faceless men who think we are simply waiting for the next opportunity to engage in casual encounters online. The assumption that we are lonely and desperate is not only misguided but also offensive. And to those who believe we can easily seduce a married man, it’s time to reflect on your own relationship.
In reality, many of us are worried about our bodies and how they might be perceived. We feel unsure about dating again and may not even know how to navigate dating apps. Honestly, many of us would prefer a peaceful night’s sleep over a night out trying to meet someone new.
What we truly desire is time to heal and rediscover our identities in this new chapter. The idea of casual encounters is not on our radar initially. When we do feel ready, we certainly don’t want attention from internet trolls or creepy bar patrons.
So, for those who cling to the myth that divorce transforms women into oversexed vixens ready to snatch up someone else’s partner, it’s time to adjust your perspective. What we really want to know is, can we buy wine in bulk? (And yes, you can!)
If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of motherhood or fertility, check out our other blog post here. And if you’re looking for reliable resources on at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers great kits to assist on your journey. For those seeking in-depth information regarding fertility treatments, UCSF’s IVF resource is an excellent place to begin.
In summary, divorced women are navigating a complex emotional landscape, seeking healing and understanding rather than casual encounters or societal labels.
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