Every time I step away from my child for a significant period, I encounter the same question: “Wow, I bet you really miss him, huh?” The truth is, no, I don’t.
As a writer fortunate enough to work from home, I’ve managed to strike a balance between my professional aspirations and parenting. My days are filled with deadlines, conference calls, and supportive editors who trust in my capabilities. Alongside this, I have a lively 1-year-old son who adores playtime, story sessions, and believes I’m the only one who can rock him to sleep just right.
There are occasions when my job necessitates time away from my son, whether it’s a brief stint in another room writing an article or traveling out of state to cover a story. Each time I’m engaged in work that doesn’t involve him, people tilt their heads and raise their eyebrows, genuinely puzzled about how I can manage being away from my child.
I often respond with the socially acceptable answer that it’s tough and that I can’t wait to return home, and while some of that sentiment rings true, the full story is different. In reality, I cherish my work and the opportunities it affords me. When I’m absorbed in crafting an article, sitting in a meeting, or sharing a meal with a colleague, my mind isn’t on my child—not even slightly. I’m focused on the task at hand, deriving satisfaction from creating something meaningful.
I even find myself looking forward to time away from my son—not because he’s overwhelming, but because I enjoy engaging in activities outside of motherhood. I love nurturing my career, spending time with friends, and delving into personal projects that I can’t pursue when he’s nearby. Yes, I adore my son, but I also relish the moments I spend away from him indulging in my passions, like my writing.
So no, I don’t miss my child in the way many might expect.
As mothers, we often feel the pressure to conform to a narrative that suggests we should be longing for our children when we’re not with them. Fathers, on the other hand, rarely face this scrutiny while they’re at work. Society often expects mothers to lament their dual roles as employees and caregivers, suggesting they would prefer to be stay-at-home moms if circumstances allowed. I want to challenge that notion. I don’t have to work; I choose to work. My career is not solely about providing for my family; it’s about fulfilling my own ambitions and building something I can take pride in.
Of course, guilt sometimes creeps in, whispering doubts about my parental adequacy and selfishness. That nagging voice tells me I’m failing as a mother or setting my son up for some future resentment. But I strive to silence that voice, even though it can be persistent.
Yes, there are fleeting moments when I miss my son, but those feelings typically arise right before I see him or just after we say goodbye. It’s not so much longing as it is impatience; I simply can’t wait to reunite. However, during my work hours, my focus is elsewhere—on my career.
So when you ask me if I miss my son while I’m away or working, I’ll nod and say the expected response, but I won’t be sharing the whole truth. The truth is, I find fulfillment and achievement outside of my role as a mother, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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In summary, I embrace both my role as a mother and my passion for my career, and I believe it’s essential to acknowledge that both can coexist without guilt.
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