Please Don’t Worry About My Determined Child

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I noticed the look on the doctor’s face. It was clear she was not impressed with my 2-year-old son’s behavior during our urgent care visit. After handing me a prescription, she turned to my son and said, “We say excuse me!” My unease grew as she questioned where he learned to shout “Yippee!” instead of the more conventional “excuse me.” I felt a wave of guilt wash over me.

My son is undeniably strong-willed; spirited, as some might say. It’s as if he proclaimed “I can do it” before he even learned to talk. He’s always on the move, as though he’s juggling a packed schedule that must be adhered to. His energy is relentless! It often feels like he ignores me 99% of the time, prompting me to resort to various strategies to get his attention—some of which have led to challenging moments, like this one. I stuffed the prescription into my bag and dashed away, feeling a mix of failure and hurt. In that fleeting moment, the doctor seemed to define my son’s character.

I choose to view my son not just as “strong-willed” but as “full of potential”—partly because he’s always off exploring, often without me, and also because this is an admirable trait. Yet, anyone who has dealt with a child like this understands the challenges. There are judgmental looks from doctors, disapproving stares from shoppers at the grocery store, and even unsolicited advice from family members. It feels like everyone is watching, critiquing, and trying to intervene, just like that doctor did.

Reframing the Narrative

But what if we flipped these negative labels around? What do we see then?

  • My son isn’t disobedient; he’s independent.
  • He isn’t aggressive; he’s confident.
  • He isn’t outspoken; he’s vocal.
  • He isn’t a troublemaker; he’s brave.
  • He isn’t emotional; he’s expressive.
  • He isn’t selfish; he’s determined.
  • He isn’t strong-willed; he’s powerful.

Sure, my son could put his hands on his hips by 9 months old, and yes, he often screams when things don’t go his way. His fearless claim over playground equipment sends older kids running. He’s not one to wait patiently in line or wear a bib that doesn’t match his outfit. And I won’t even mention the volume of his “time-out” protests—my neighbors probably know him by name! He may be a handful, but he’s remarkable. There’s so much more to him than these moments. When we look deeper, we see a child learning to manage his emotions—a child who absorbs everything around him, often feeling overwhelmed.

It’s crucial for onlookers to recognize that a 2-year-old does not act with malicious intent. Strong-willed children aren’t being difficult; they’re navigating a complex world. Watching them is an impressive experience.

Celebrating Spirited Children

Next time you see a spirited child in action, pay attention. Observe how they stride into their first day of preschool, tear-free and eager to learn. They approach teachers and classmates with a confidence that rivals the principal herself. They try new things without hesitation, opening the door to countless experiences. Peer pressure? Not a chance when you’re as determined as this child. Yes, he’s strong-willed; he’s powerful. This child is destined for great things.

So, thank you for the prescription, doctor, but we’ll pass on your behavioral advice. Please refrain from judging us or labeling my son. He’s doing just fine, and he’s so much more than the single moment you witnessed. For more insights on parenting spirited children, check out this related post on overcoming the challenges of spirited kids. Also, if you’re interested in at-home insemination options, consider visiting Make a Mom, a trusted online retailer for insemination kits. Lastly, for further information about pregnancy and home insemination, the NHS offers excellent resources.

In summary, strong-willed children are not a burden; they’re filled with potential, independence, and confidence. By reframing our understanding, we can celebrate their unique traits while navigating the challenges they bring.


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