As the holiday season rolls in, so does the inevitable surge of travelers hitting the roads. Like many, I’ve moved from my hometown, embarking on long drives to reconnect with family for celebrations and cherished traditions. However, taking the scenic route back home often comes with the unwelcome company of a few not-so-great drivers. Whoever said the journey is more important than the destination clearly never navigated icy roads during the chaos of Thanksgiving or Christmas.
- The ‘Blinkers Are Optional’ Driver
Here’s a fun fact: those blinking lights on your vehicle aren’t just for decoration. They’re there to signal your intentions to other drivers, like me, who are trying to mind their own business. Not using your blinker turns a simple lane change into a chaotic game of dodgeball. - The ‘High Beams All the Time’ Driver
Sure, high beams are great for spotting wildlife on a dark, deserted highway. But when you’re tailing me with your headlights blinding me like some sort of celestial beacon, it’s a different story. I might just end up seeing stars—right before I lose control and veer off the road. - The ‘What’s Cruise Control?’ Driver
Some folks prefer driving without cruise control, and that’s fine—if they can maintain a steady speed. But if you’re constantly zipping past me, only to slow down moments later, it feels like we’re engaged in a bizarre automotive dance that will take us all the way to Grandma’s. - The ‘Speed Limits Aren’t for Me’ Driver
I’ll admit I occasionally push the speed limit a bit. However, the driver barreling down the highway like they’re in a Fast and Furious movie? That’s a different level of reckless. The real joy is seeing these speeders getting pulled over by the cops two miles ahead, while I cruise safely by. - The ‘I Need to Speed Past You Just to Exit in 10 Yards’ Driver
I get it; going 2 mph slower than you’d like can be frustrating. But if your exit is just a stone’s throw away, is it really necessary to zoom past me only to cut in front of me right before the exit? Maybe you and that other aggressive driver are competing for the title of Holiday Road Douchebag. - The ‘Merging at 30 MPH is Acceptable’ Driver
Ever tried jumping onto a moving treadmill? That’s what it feels like when you merge onto a 75 mph highway going a mere 30. I’m left with the choice of swerving or slamming my brakes—neither of which is a pleasant option. - The ‘I’m Using You as a Pace Car’ Driver
This isn’t the Tour de France, yet some drivers seem to think it’s their job to tailgate me at a frustratingly close distance. I’m left with the choice of either speeding up—risking a ticket—or slowing down and encouraging you to pass me. Spoiler alert: I usually choose to speed up. - The ‘I’m Offended by You Passing Me’ Driver
We all feel a twinge of annoyance when someone overtakes us. But when you decide to speed up to stop me from passing, it becomes personal. Now I’m stuck in the left lane looking like a fool while you race off. Thanks for that! - The ‘Passing Lanes Are for the Bold’ Driver
Every state has its rules about the passing lane, but they generally boil down to this: if you’re not passing anyone, get the heck out of the left lane! Holding up traffic by going the same speed as the person next to you is just selfish driving. - The ‘I’m Showing Movies to My Kids’ Driver
To the driver with the built-in movie screen, I’m not even mad—just incredibly distracted. While I’m trying to focus on the road, I can’t help but wonder what movie you’re screening. Perhaps you’re just trying to keep the peace, but after encountering those other nine types of drivers, I’m ready to lose it.
Remember, as much as these “drivers” can get under your skin, they can just as easily be anyone—regardless of gender or age. So, happy holidays, and may your drives be free of road jerks and full of festive spirit! For more tips on navigating the holiday season, check out this informative post and for anyone considering home insemination, this site offers excellent options for at-home syringe kits, while this resource provides valuable information on treating infertility.
In summary, the holiday season brings a unique set of challenges on the road, including various types of frustrating drivers. By recognizing these behaviors, we can hopefully find some humor in the madness and enjoy the journey back home.
Leave a Reply