Statistics indicate that 1 in 5 women will experience sexual assault at some point in their lives. While this fact used to provide me with a sense of solidarity, it now weighs heavily on my heart as I think about my daughter. Facing a 20-percent chance of being victimized is a terrifying reality, and despite my deepest desires, I know I cannot protect her from every danger.
I could attempt to arm her with advice on how to avoid such horrors. I might say:
- Trust no one.
- Always be on high alert.
- Never date or engage in intimate relationships.
- Stay home and avoid social situations.
- Drink only in isolation.
- Never share personal information online—better yet, avoid the internet completely.
- Dress in a way that hides her body completely.
- Surround herself with those she doesn’t truly trust for protection.
If I told her these things, perhaps she’d heed my warnings and evade such a fate. But at what cost? She would miss out on love, the joy of friendship, and the warmth of a first embrace. Her life would become a shell, devoid of genuine experiences and connections.
Alternatively, she might face the very situation I dread despite my warnings. She could choose to embrace life, attend gatherings, and foster friendships. But the cruel reality is that even in those moments of joy, trust can be betrayed, and consent can be disregarded. If she were to experience assault, she might internalize my fears and blame herself, thinking she should have acted differently. The world can be cruel, and that burden of self-blame could haunt her, leading to a life lived in fear and silence.
But I yearn for her to truly live. Thus, instead of instilling fear, I will impart this wisdom:
Your body belongs to you. Consent is essential. A clear “yes” is the only affirmative answer; silence or ambiguity is a “no.” Trust yourself and others, but also be aware of your surroundings. Embrace vulnerability and understand that rape is never the victim’s fault—only the fault of the perpetrator.
I want her to thrive, to make connections, to open her heart. When she’s ready, she can explore relationships, celebrate love, and experience life fully. She may encounter challenges, but they will never define her worth or her choices.
I’m sorry, but I cannot shield you from every danger. Life is inherently risky, but it’s also beautiful and worth living.
For more insights into navigating parenting and relationships, check out this other blog post that delves into related topics. And if you’re considering starting a family, consider visiting Make a Mom for reputable at-home insemination kits to help you on your journey. Additionally, the CDC offers valuable resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
In this article, Maya Thompson reflects on the harsh realities of sexual assault statistics and the challenges of protecting one’s daughter from such harm. Instead of instilling fear, she advocates for teaching empowerment, consent, and the importance of living fully despite life’s risks.
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