Updated: September 10, 2023
Originally Published: November 13, 2015
One of the things that brings my son the greatest joy is creating cards for his loved ones and selecting small gifts. He willingly shares his belongings and often saves his allowance to buy little surprises for his sister. Just the other day, while rummaging through some old toys, he expressed his desire to wrap an old truck in tissue paper to present to a young boy visiting our neighbors. Instead of discouraging this beautiful act of generosity, I quickly grabbed some tissue paper, and together we unearthed a crumpled gift bag from our wrapping supplies. He took great care in wrapping the truck and placing it into the bag. As we walked to the neighbor’s house, the bright smile on my son’s face reflected the pure joy of giving; he found as much happiness in giving as he did in receiving.
I strive to nurture a spirit of generosity in my children. It’s not about extravagant gifts; it’s about being considerate of those around us and understanding that thoughtfulness is a valuable trait. We gather interesting rocks from our walks to color as gifts; we selected a special bracelet for Grandma; we even paid for the people behind us at the donut shop and collected canned goods for the local food pantry. I aim to show my children that being kind and giving is part of who we are.
Lately, many birthday party invites for my son include the phrase “No gifts, please.” While I appreciate the sentiment (after all, kids have plenty!), I can’t help but question what message this sends about kindness and thoughtfulness. Shouldn’t children have the opportunity to share gifts with their friends on their own special day? Young kids express their affection for friends by creating or selecting small, meaningful gifts.
Recently, my son’s best friend turned 6, and his mother (a good friend of mine) requested no gifts. I understood her intention—she didn’t want to create pressure or obligation. However, when I informed my son about this, he was visibly upset, explaining he had been eagerly planning a specific gift. I didn’t want to dampen his enthusiasm for celebrating his friend, and knowing that his mother would likely be understanding, I decided to let him bring a gift after all. He was overjoyed to purchase a small present using his own money and crafted a colorful birthday card.
Since there were only a few kids at the intimate gathering, it didn’t create any awkwardness regarding gifts. If there had been a larger crowd, I would have suggested he give his present privately at another time. However, I didn’t want to stifle his generosity, which is why I chose to proceed with his plan.
We’ve also attended parties where instead of gifts, a donation to an animal rescue or food drive is requested. While I fully support such initiatives and think they’re fantastic, I still believe that presenting a small token to the birthday child can add a nice touch. Teaching my son the joy of giving is essential, and while charitable donations are certainly generous acts, I want him to feel empowered to give gifts to his loved ones—a rock, a card, or even something he bought himself—whenever he feels inspired.
So, I kindly ask that you allow my child to bring a gift to the birthday celebration. Furthermore, I’d love to bring you a lovely arrangement of greens during the holiday season. The spirit of generosity should not be limited or defined by others, even when they have good intentions. We wish to express our appreciation and love through small gifts, and if we didn’t, we simply wouldn’t. In a world filled with so many takers, the act of giving—whether it be time or a small gift—should be embraced and celebrated. Giving should come from the heart, be spontaneous, and not dictated by rules.
For more insights on the importance of generosity, check out this blog post. If you’re looking for resources related to at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers excellent kits. You can also learn more about the process through this resource.
In summary, fostering a culture of giving among our children is vital. While birthday parties may come with “no gifts” requests, it’s important to encourage acts of kindness and thoughtfulness in even the smallest gestures.
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