When I embarked on the journey of motherhood, I quickly discovered several truths that no one really shared with me. Here are three of them:
- Labor is far more painful than you can possibly prepare for.
- Breastfeeding can be equally excruciating.
- The teenage years? Well, they bring their own brand of agony (see No. 1).
But the most significant revelation? Parenting isn’t a lifelong commitment; it’s more of a phase, a temporary gig. There’s a pervasive myth that parenting lasts forever, that your children will always rely on you. In reality, I believe parenting, much like pregnancy, should come with an expiration date.
Remember how pregnancy felt like it would stretch on forever? Time crawls as your belly expands, only to come to an abrupt halt when the baby arrives, transforming your world in an instant. Even the most extended pregnancies culminate in the most rewarding outcome. Just as pregnancy has an end, so too does parenting, although it’s rarely discussed.
In the beginning, parenting often feels like a never-ending saga—sleepless nights, the stress of schoolyard politics, endless homework sessions, and long days at the soccer field. But then—just like that—it’s over. One moment, you’re the go-to for every decision, and the next, your input is suddenly unwelcome. Thanks, but no thanks.
Veteran parents warned me that parenting would be the toughest job I’d ever love. However, they conveniently omitted the fact that it’s the only profession where hard work and a dash of luck can lead to unemployment. As a parent, you know you’ve excelled when you’re officially let go from your full-time role.
If I do my job well—and with a bit of luck—I’ll transition from a full-time parent to a part-time consultant, available only when my expertise is sought or when my credit card is needed. Eventually, if everything goes smoothly, I’ll be out of a job altogether. What’s the reward for this labor of love? Instead of a gold watch, I’ll receive the satisfaction of seeing my children grow into competent, caring adults.
Sure, I might still dabble in parenting—taking calls from my kids asking how to cook an artichoke or helping out when they misplace their belongings. But I see this journey as one destined for obsolescence. I will always be a parent, but my active parenting days should come to a close, hopefully with my kids thriving independently.
The moment they no longer require my guidance will be the ultimate proof that I’ve done my job well. After all, where’s the incentive for completing this monumental project? There’s no shiny reward waiting for me at the end of the parenting tunnel.
Evidence of my efforts as a parent is already visible: the countless birthday parties, the late-night rescue missions, and yes, even the gray hairs sprouting in abundance. More tangible proof lies in the family photos that capture our journey together, along with the cherished storybooks I can recite from memory.
My eldest has successfully navigated her first year post-college and found meaningful employment. My middle child planned and embraced a gap year, and is now pursuing his college dreams as promised. As for my youngest, well, he’s well on his way through high school. It appears my parenting responsibilities are dwindling, as my former duties can now be outsourced to alarms, takeout menus, friends, and mentors.
I’m looking forward to being out of a job, banking on my kids to wake up on time, seek jobs, and find their own emotional support. I’m counting on them to become the passionate, capable adults the world so desperately needs.
And you know what? I’m totally fine with the idea that their success means my unemployment. I’ll still be around, in my new role as a consultant, ready to lend a hand when necessary, but mostly enjoying the freedom of being underemployed. For more insights on parenting and its phases, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. If you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom has a great selection of kits. And for more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Kindbody’s blog.
In summary, parenting is a journey with a defined endpoint, and that’s something to celebrate. As we prepare to transition into the next phase of our lives, let’s embrace the fact that raising independent, caring adults is the ultimate achievement.
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