Parenting can be a daunting task. We’re expected to raise children who are joyful, healthy, ethical, intelligent, and capable—all while juggling our own imperfections. My journey into parenthood was no different; I started this adventure feeling unprepared and overwhelmed. However, I discovered a powerful tool that has made my role not only easier but has also helped me grow as an individual.
This tool is the regular use of one essential question that serves as a guiding principle for my parenting and simultaneously enhances my character. It’s a straightforward question that nudges my moral compass and draws from my accumulated life lessons. When I pose this question, I often find clarity in solving various challenges.
The Question
The question is: What advice would I give my children?
Throughout the day, my children prompt me to answer this question repeatedly. For example, when my toddler decides to explore her nose for the umpteenth time, I gently remind her, “No boogers,” emphasizing that nose-picking is not only unsanitary but also socially unacceptable. When my son, after being asked to stop, persists in poking his sister, I send him to his room. This teaches him the importance of listening and controlling his impulses.
I strive to impart valuable life lessons to my son about kindness, setting boundaries, giving back, and working hard, weaving these teachings into the small yet significant moments of his day.
Leading by Example
But what happens when I encounter my own life challenges? My experiences are now under the scrutiny of my children. I’ve learned that they will emulate my actions rather than my words. To ensure they have the best chance at success, I must lead by example.
When faced with a decision, I envision myself advising my adult children. If I receive a vexing email from work on a Friday, would I encourage my grown daughter to dwell on it while her family tries to enjoy a board game? Or would I suggest she take a jog, set the email aside, and tackle it with a fresh perspective on Monday? Clearly, I’d opt for the latter, but I didn’t always think this way.
If my son were to chase a passion and encounter setbacks, would I tell him to give up after a single attempt? Or would I encourage him to persevere, set goals, and learn from failures? The answer is obvious; I’d motivate him to work hard and embrace challenges. Yet, it’s only recently that I’ve started framing my own aspirations through the lens of, What would I tell my kids to do?
Reflecting on Choices
Reflecting on my past, I recognize several proud decisions, but I also see choices I would never endorse for my children. Now, when faced with the option to respond positively or negatively, maturely or immaturely, kindly or carelessly, I pause and consider, What would I tell my kids to do? More often than not, I arrive at the right answer. My track record may not be flawless, but perfection isn’t the goal. Modeling that imperfection is part of the journey.
While my kids may not always heed my words, I remain hopeful that they are observing my actions.
Further Reading
For additional insights on navigating parenting and personal growth, check out this engaging article here. And if you’re exploring family planning options, consider reputable sources like Make a Mom for at-home insemination kits and Cleveland Clinic for excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, reflecting on how I would advise my children has not only improved my parenting but has also made me a better person overall.
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