Life can throw some unexpected curveballs, especially when it comes to friendships. It was a typical evening: the kids had finally settled down after their baths, engrossed in a movie, and the chaos of the day was fading away. I decided it was the perfect time to reach out to Lisa. It was 7:30 on a school night, and surely she’d be home. We hadn’t had a genuine conversation in what felt like forever—just a few hurried exchanges about how life was chaotic and promises to call back that never materialized.
After eight years of friendship, I felt secure in our bond, but I couldn’t shake the concern I had for her. Lisa was facing a challenging time after her father’s cancer diagnosis, and she had recently taken on a full caseload as a speech therapist since her youngest son started school full-time.
Our friendship blossomed during the early years of motherhood, when our first children were just infants. We navigated the ups and downs of parenting together, from sleepless nights to potty training, through the toddler tantrums, and onto the school years filled with activities and structured schedules. Our long chats on the phone while multitasking in the kitchen were once a staple of our relationship, but those moments had faded into the background as life got busier.
It would have been easy to let our friendship dwindle down to just occasional birthday greetings and a holiday card—something I had done with other friends over the years. But Lisa had encouraged me to keep reaching out, understanding my tendency to let friendships slip away.
So, I eagerly anticipated hearing her voice, hoping we could finally catch up. When her husband answered, I greeted him warmly. “Hey, how’s it going?” I asked, trying to hide my excitement.
“Doing well,” he replied, but then he dropped the bombshell. “Lisa’s out with some friends.”
My heart sank. His tone suggested everything was different. The fleeting phone calls, the short replies, and the promise she’d return my calls didn’t seem to stem from her busy life, but rather a growing distance between us. It felt as if I had been blindsided, like a woman who thinks she’s in a happy relationship only to discover her partner has been unfaithful all along.
I quickly said goodbye, feeling a mix of sickness and sorrow. How could this happen? We had shared everything—joys, fears, and secrets. I had been there for her through countless milestones, and we had even discussed being guardians for each other’s children. If she wanted to end our friendship, why not just let it fade naturally? I was willing to let it go if that’s what she wanted.
The next day, I waited for a call that never came. A few days later, I left a voicemail apologizing for any unintentional hurt and expressing gratitude for the years of support. But the silence that followed was deafening. That was seven years ago.
Time has a way of healing wounds, but the embarrassment of being “dumped” by a friend lingered. Who experiences such a painful loss outside of romantic relationships? Surprisingly, as I began to share my experience, I discovered I wasn’t alone. Many women have faced similar heartaches, and it turns out that platonic friendships can be just as complex.
Now, looking back, I can appreciate the good times we had without bitterness. Lisa was there for so many of my children’s milestones, and I’ll always cherish those moments. For anyone dealing with the aftermath of a friendship loss, know that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to reflect on the good that was shared.
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In summary, friendships can be just as complicated as romantic relationships. While loss can be painful, sharing these experiences can help us feel less isolated and more understood.
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