Updated: July 27, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 30, 2015
From the moment my first child was born, I embraced the bedtime routine with every tip I could find. We began with gentle nursing in a softly lit room, progressed to infant massages, and added lullabies. As he grew, we introduced bedtime stories, a sip of water, and prayers. By the time he turned three, our routine had spiraled into a theatrical production: games, songs, endless prayers, back rubs, and snuggles. Eventually, we scrapped the elaborate ritual altogether—now it’s just brushing teeth and a quick prayer.
However, the “second act” of bedtime still begins once I kiss him goodnight and turn out the light. I often stand in the hallway, silently counting down, “Five, four, three, two, one…” when inevitably, the familiar call comes from the bedroom.
“Mom! I need a drink of water,” my son chimes in.
“It’s right on your nightstand,” I remind him before heading back to the kitchen to tackle the dishes.
Next, I hear the patter of little feet. “Mom, I need to go to the bathroom!” he announces. I give him the green light, and off he goes. Just as I settle back into my chores, there’s a creak on the floor.
“What is it?” I ask, trying to contain my irritation without looking away from the dishes.
“The fan is blowing on my feet,” he replies. So, I go back in, adjust the blanket, and cover his feet with a sheet, careful not to make him too hot.
“OK? Goodnight!” I say, leaving the room once more.
Peace reigns for about half an hour until suddenly, a little face appears over the armchair, startling me.
“I forgot to tell you something,” he says, feigning innocence. I respond, “What is it?” as he stumbles for a reply.
“Buddy,” I say, trying to maintain my calm, “GET BACK INTO BED.”
Sometimes that’s the end of it, but on rough nights, the back-and-forth can last for two hours.
Could There Be a Solution?
Enter the “sleep pass,” a concept that functions like a hall pass for kids who continually emerge from their rooms and drive parents to distraction. Dr. Sam Greenleaf, a child psychologist, conducted a study using a simple 5-by-7-inch card that allowed children one exit per night for bathroom breaks, water, or a quick cuddle. After using the pass, they were not permitted to leave their beds again, and parents could ignore any further calls. Results demonstrated that this method reduced the nighttime interruptions to nearly zero.
As NPR notes, the beauty of this pass lies in its ability to provide both parents and kids with a sense of control over an often chaotic and emotional time. Children know they can leave once if it’s genuinely necessary, while parents can enforce bedtime with a clear conscience after that single allowance.
I’m planning to implement this strategy tonight. If it diminishes the bedtime back-and-forth, I’m all for it. This pass isn’t just for my sanity; it also serves my son’s need for quality sleep. Lying in bed and contemplating whether to use the pass might just be dull enough to help him drift off.
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In Summary
Managing bedtime can be a daunting task, but with the sleep pass strategy, parents might find a way to restore some peace while ensuring their kids get the sleep they desperately need.
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