If you were to chat with the neighbors across the street, they might remember the Halloween when a kid dressed as a construction barrel strolled right into their home, turned down a generous handful of Tootsie Rolls, and inquired about the bathroom while unzipping his pants. The lady down the block might recount the story of the child who outright refused her candy offerings, declaring his discontent with her selection, yet enthusiastically complimenting her energy-efficient chandelier. And at the end of the block, you’d hear about the little boy who was more fascinated by the lights in the foyer than the promise of a full-size Kit Kat or Twix.
A few years back, my son, the construction barrel himself, was the only child in our neighborhood who showed little interest in filling his orange plastic pumpkin with candy. For him, Halloween had nothing to do with sweets; rather, it was a day filled with unique experiences that are often associated with autism.
For my son, October 31 is like a golden ticket to explore the homes in our community. He perceives the act of someone opening their front door as a warm invitation inside, which he happily accepts. When neighbors greet him, it’s not just a brief exchange of candy and compliments; it’s an opportunity for them to learn about the beauty of diversity. While some neighbors are great sports about it, others are often taken aback and unsure of how to interact. I can’t fault them, but I can help educate them—and anyone else who opens their door to a special needs child on Halloween. The key is simple: be aware, be understanding, and be accepting.
Not every child knocking on your door will fit the mold of a costume-clad, candy-hungry trick-or-treater. Halloween can be confusing or even overwhelming for many kids, including those with autism, as well as children who are shy, have allergies, are diabetic, or face speech delays. For those with dietary restrictions, like allergies, having some nut-free or gluten-free options, along with non-candy treats, can foster inclusivity. Last Halloween, the Teal Pumpkin Project, initiated by Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE), encouraged families to paint and display teal pumpkins to signify the availability of non-food items, promoting awareness and inclusion for all trick-or-treaters.
When my son was younger, he had a limited vocabulary, and “trick-or-treat” was not in his repertoire. For many children with autism or those who are naturally shy, the thought of approaching a stranger’s home for candy can be daunting. It’s crucial to remember that not every child will say “trick-or-treat” or even “thank you,” and that shouldn’t be a requirement for receiving candy.
I know many parents who rehearse the Halloween experience with their kids to ease the transition when the big day arrives. They practice their “trick-or-treats” and “thank yous,” and help their children get used to wearing costumes and walking around the neighborhood. Some even use social stories to illustrate appropriate interactions.
In the early days of trick-or-treating, my son found the experience overwhelming—he disliked the darkness, some decorations were terrifying, and he often found costumes uncomfortable. He had zero interest in candy, which meant more for us! A neighbor once asked why we bothered to take him out if he found it so unpleasant. It was a fair question, but staying home wasn’t an option for us. Like many children—both with and without autism—exposure to various experiences can help them adjust over time. After several years of trick-or-treating, my son now eagerly anticipates Halloween, much like his siblings do. His excitement revolves more around the chance to enter neighbors’ homes, and I’m completely okay with that. Witnessing him experience the joy of Halloween, even for different reasons, warms my heart.
This Halloween, I encourage you to be aware, be understanding, and be patient. And if my little ones knock at your door, please be generous—especially with the chocolate. Here are some ways to ensure that trick-or-treating is enjoyable for all children:
- Be Aware: Just as you’ll see a variety of costumes—from devils and angels to zombies and superheroes—you’ll also encounter kids with diverse comfort levels regarding Halloween traditions. You can’t always tell by their appearance who may have autism or other challenges.
- Be Understanding: While Halloween is a beloved holiday for many, not every child who lands on your doorstep shares that enthusiasm. Some kids may not be dressed up for valid reasons, and they shouldn’t be singled out for it. They could be there to familiarize themselves with the customs or simply to keep family traditions alive.
- Be Accepting: Every child is unique, with different strengths, abilities, and understandings of Halloween etiquette. Hand them a treat (candy or non-food item), smile, and wish them a happy Halloween. Recognize that it may not be an easy night for them, but they are trying their best.
Your kindness and understanding can make a meaningful difference in the lives of these children. For more insights on parenting and inclusivity, check out this helpful resource.
Summary
This article underscores the unique experiences of children with autism during Halloween, advocating for awareness, understanding, and acceptance from neighbors. It emphasizes that not every child approaches trick-or-treating in the same way and encourages kindness towards all trick-or-treaters, no matter their background or challenges.
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