In my household, M&Ms are a daily staple. Yes, I willingly give my kids these sugary treats. Why? Because it’s my secret weapon for getting them to cooperate—whether it’s using the bathroom, staying put in their car seats, or cleaning up after themselves. Sometimes, a little bribery goes a long way.
Having been a parent for over two decades, I’ve witnessed a significant shift in the parenting landscape. From the early days of dial-up internet to today’s digital age, where an online presence is almost mandatory, the parenting narrative has changed dramatically. The internet has its pros and cons: on one hand, it provides valuable information (like confirming that your child’s rash isn’t life-threatening), and on the other, it can foster guilt. If you didn’t cloth diaper, you might feel like you’re single-handedly causing climate change. Didn’t breastfeed? Your child might be doomed to a lifetime of lower IQ.
Recently, a new initiative called #noshameparenting emerged, aiming to alleviate the guilt many parents feel. While I’ve shared my thoughts on guilt-free parenting before, it’s a topic worth revisiting. No matter how many times we hear that it’s okay for our kids to watch a little TV, there’s always another article claiming it stunts growth and creativity.
Shaming serves no real purpose. It only pushes us toward secrecy and makes us feel inadequate in our parenting abilities.
Here’s a quick rundown of what you should and shouldn’t feel guilty about:
- Don’t feel bad for feeding your 8-month-old formula, breast milk, or even goat milk. Nutrition is what matters.
- Do feel bad about giving your baby chocolate milk. That’s just unnecessary.
- Don’t feel guilty about turning your infant’s car seat around when they meet the weight requirement.
- Do feel guilty if you skip the car seat entirely. That’s just unsafe.
- Don’t regret letting your kids watch PBS. It can be educational.
- Do regret letting them watch shows that encourage whining. No thanks, Caillou.
- Don’t feel bad for giving your toddler Benadryl for a sniffle. Sleep is crucial.
- Do feel guilty if you give them rum. That’s not okay.
- Don’t stress if you miss bath night. Kids are pretty resilient to dirt.
- Do feel guilty if your kids are practically living in their own filth.
The daily challenges of parenting often aren’t worth the stress. The mom judging you may just not have faced the chaos of a long car ride with a screaming toddler.
For more insights on parenting without the guilt, check out this blog post. And if you’re considering home insemination, sites like Make a Mom offer great options for syringe kits. Also, for those seeking support in navigating infertility, ACOG is an excellent resource.
In summary, let’s stop shaming each other and start supporting one another. Parenting is hard enough without the added pressure of judgment.
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