We often hear the saying: “A messy home is a happy home.” The implication is that a bit of chaos means children are loved, and a spotless house suggests a dull parent. Each time I encounter this notion, it grates on my nerves. I admit it—I thrive on cleanliness, perhaps even a bit obsessively. My children have grown so accustomed to the hum of the vacuum that they can nap right through it. They recognize the scent of my cleaning supplies and know that toys are tucked away before we head out the door. They live in a clean, organized space, and guess what? It’s still a loving, joyful home where countless memories are made. They’re curious, intelligent, and I promise, I’m fun too!
I’m not claiming to be perfect. I don’t always radiate fun energy. But I am undeniably a good mom. Every parent has their style—some embrace clutter, while others prefer a minimalist lifestyle. Our home’s tidiness doesn’t dictate the happiness or love we share. In fact, happiness is infectious—it starts with one individual. My grandfather used to say, “If Mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.” Wise words! For me, happiness comes from organizing my spice rack and ensuring the floors are crumb-free. There’s something uplifting about a clean space, and it boosts my mood to have everything in order.
Just the other day, I found myself with a few quiet hours. My best friend, envious of my free time, asked what I planned to do. When I replied, “clean the toilets,” she looked surprised. It might not sound thrilling, but I find joy in having a sparkling restroom. With that task behind me, I felt invigorated and ready to dive into playtime with my kids. Our days are filled with creative chaos—paints, Legos, and the always-present traffic jam of Hot Wheels. And yes, we bake—sprinkles included (though those little beads have a way of showing up everywhere!). My coffee table? It’s a vibrant display of stickers that I’ve decided doubles as modern art. Life is good; we play hard and clean up afterward, and my kids couldn’t be happier.
To all the moms embracing the chaos, don’t worry! Here’s a funny twist: my 2-year-old son, Max, is the messiest little creature I know. I once gave him spaghetti for dinner, and let’s just say, it was a one-time experience—sauce was everywhere! When he’s not eating, he’s tearing pages from books or dumping out toy bins. He’s the reigning champion of messiness. I do my best to accept this wild spirit, even if it contrasts with my own organized nature. My kids will learn to navigate both worlds, just as I’m learning to embrace their joyful messes. And while they’re small, they get to experience the benefits of having a mom who’s often likened to Monica from Friends—proof that cleanliness and cherished memories can coexist!
I’ve always been this way. As a child, I turned cleaning my room into a game to entice my friends to join in. Now that’s what I call a fun friendship! Motherhood has intensified my inner neat freak, despite the endless advice suggesting that once kids arrive, cleanliness should be the first casualty. When I heard that, my reaction was “challenge accepted.” I’ll show those messy moms! I’m always tidying something; I can’t relax if dust is collecting on the shelves. Sure, kids add complexity, especially my son, who can create a mess out of anything—like the morning he decided to dunk his hand in my coffee. It was iced, fortunately, and still delicious!
Sorry, messy moms, but we’re happy too. We’re silly and fun and creating memories just like you. It’s not the cluttered counters or sticky floors that determine our children’s happiness. Love isn’t measured by the height of the laundry pile, nor are precious memories found in overflowing junk drawers. Perhaps those cute quotes should say: “Messy or clean, our kids are living the dream,” because, like those chaotic homes, my tidy abode is filled with fun, love, and memories—and clean toilets, of course.
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In summary, a clean house doesn’t equate to a lack of love or fun; it’s just another way of creating a joyful, memory-filled environment for our children.
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