10 Strategies to Avoid Harming Each Other in 28 Years of Marriage

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This summer, we marked 28 years of wedded bliss. Yes, if you’re doing the math, that means we tied the knot in the ’80s—hence the oversized puffy sleeves on my wedding dress. Trust me, it was a trend!

As we navigate our golden years together, we’ve noticed that many couples around us are grappling with the strains of time, and accumulated annoyances can wear down what once was a strong bond. I’ve taken some time to reflect on what has helped us remain happily married through all the ups and downs, including raising two children, welcoming two puppies, moving twice, and purchasing two homes.

1. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

I realize this sounds like a cliché, but hear me out. If you’re bothered by how your partner hangs their towel, consider just fixing it yourself if it’s that significant. If they leave their shoes on the floor, it’s likely not a personal affront. People have different habits, and focusing on minor irritations can drain your energy for the important issues that inevitably arise.

2. Share Wisely

When it comes to toiletries, find common ground. If you both use the same toothpaste, share a tube! However, some things are better off individual—think bath towels, intimate apparel, and footwear.

3. Create a Financial Plan

Implementing a system of yours, mine, and ours works effectively for us. This way, I don’t have to question his purchases like “Did you really need that fishing pole?” and he doesn’t ask me about my new sandals. It’s nice to have a little pocket money for spontaneous treats—nothing extravagant, just enough to indulge in a new lipstick or a hidden stash of snacks.

4. Never Take Each Other for Granted

Many relationships crumble over time, but ours has flourished. Even during the mundane days, my heart skips a beat when my partner comes home from work, and I make sure to express that. I appreciate how handy he is with car repairs; he’s impressed by my ability to reupholster furniture without a pattern.

5. Enjoy Time Apart

While we spend a fair amount of time together, having separate outings—whether it’s a girls’ night, a fun evening with the guys, or a work trip—adds freshness to our interactions. When we reunite, we have new experiences to share and a renewed sense of connection.

6. Set Shared Goals

Working towards a common goal, no matter how trivial it seems—like planning a vacation, training the dog, or redecorating—helps strengthen your bond.

7. View Each Other Anew

Try to see your partner as if it’s the first time you’re meeting or as if it’s the last time you’ll see them. This perspective can reignite feelings and make you notice the little things that matter.

8. Physical Affection

Touch goes beyond the expected. Simple gestures like running your fingers through your partner’s hair while they’re busy or giving a quick hug in the grocery store can maintain that vital connection.

9. Embrace Humor

Laughter is essential for marital happiness. My spouse knows how to make me chuckle at least once a day. While I may not always find his dad jokes amusing, it’s his comedic spirit that keeps our relationship lively.

10. Show Mutual Respect

This is paramount. We may not see eye to eye on everything, but our commitment to each other means we honor our differences. I recognize his love for country music and his penchant for mushy bananas, while he accepts my preference for pop music and the occasional Dr. Pepper binge.

Ultimately, we’ve managed to nurture our marriage and even strengthen it by prioritizing these simple yet effective strategies. Or perhaps it was the puffy sleeves that did the trick.

For more insights into marital stability, be sure to check out this related post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering home insemination, I recommend visiting Make a Mom for quality kits. For additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, NHS offers excellent resources.

In summary, maintaining a healthy marriage requires attention to the little things, respect, and a good dose of humor. By focusing on these strategies, we’ve not only survived but thrived in our relationship.


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