At times, it feels like my partner and I are managing a business together. Each of us has our own set of duties and a budget to uphold. We frequently discuss our “business” strategy: You handle this, I’ll take care of that. Let’s hope that situation gets resolved by next week. We’re short on funds in our operating budget. Is it okay if I take a day off? All things considered, we navigate the logistics of our household quite effectively.
However, the demands of daily life—childcare, work—often overshadow our relationship. Despite efforts to reconnect through date nights and personal time, we sometimes resemble coworkers more than a romantic couple.
What if we embraced the idea of “relationship performance reviews,” as suggested by Anna Larson in a recent piece for the local newspaper? The concept encourages couples to have regular check-ins about how each of them feels in the relationship. Larson notes, “Marriage therapists and relationship experts are increasingly advocating for periodic performance reviews among partners. Waiting too long to seek therapy can lead to deeper issues. By assessing their relationship regularly, couples can pinpoint what’s working, what isn’t, and set goals for improvement before problems become entrenched.“
She references a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, where 216 married couples completed questionnaires to evaluate their relationship’s strengths and weaknesses. The couples were then split into two groups: one group attended therapy for “checkups,” while the other did not. The findings revealed that those who engaged in checkups experienced notable improvements in relationship satisfaction, intimacy, and feelings of acceptance, along with a decrease in depressive symptoms compared to those who skipped the evaluations. Particularly, the couples facing the most significant challenges saw the greatest benefits.
I tend to take a somewhat pessimistic view of relationships, believing they will either flourish or falter. Yet, I recognize that simply taking the time to sit down with your partner and express what makes you happy—and what doesn’t—could be extraordinarily helpful. If you’re suppressing frustration over shared responsibilities, intimacy, or communication styles, those feelings can fester. Addressing concerns like, “I’m feeling overwhelmed by our workload,” or “Please be mindful of how you speak to me when you’re stressed,” might prevent these issues from solidifying into permanent grievances.
Honestly, I think therapy can be particularly valuable in recognizing when a relationship might be beyond saving. If you find yourself repeatedly asking your partner for respect or help with household duties and nothing changes, these check-ins might signal that it’s time to reassess your situation.
Perhaps our date nights will now include a little “State of the Union” as well. I’ll share what’s working for me and what isn’t, and he can do the same. After all, if we allow ourselves to become mere coworkers, we might just find ourselves heading for a closure.
For more insights on enhancing your relationship, check out this post on relationship improvement. And if you’re looking for resources related to artificial insemination, consider visiting Make a Mom, a reliable retailer offering home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, for detailed information about IVF and other insemination procedures, NHS provides excellent resources.
Summary:
Conducting performance reviews in relationships can help couples assess their satisfaction, identify issues, and set goals for improvement. Regular check-ins may prevent minor grievances from escalating into major problems, enhancing intimacy and communication. Consider incorporating these discussions into your routine to keep your relationship thriving.
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