My partner and I welcomed our little girl, Lily, into the world in early May. She’s an adorable bundle of joy, but let’s be real—parenting is exhausting. It can leave you feeling drained, irritable, and occasionally questioning your sanity. To make matters more entertaining, people often bombard us with some truly absurd questions about our baby. Though I try to respond graciously, there are moments—especially after a sleepless night—when I want to unleash my inner snark.
1. “Wow, you look tired! Are you planning to catch up on sleep tonight?”
Oh, you think? Yes, I look like a zombie because I was up until 3 AM trying to soothe my little one while resisting the urge to tape a pacifier to her mouth. Sleep? What’s that? For the next year, I’ll be in a battle against fatigue, and your cozy nights of sleep won’t help my situation. So spare me the well-meaning comments!
2. “What is that stain on your shirt?”
It’s always spit-up. If it’s anything other than white, well, it’s probably some other delightful bodily fluid. Just accept it as part of my new normal.
3. “Does your baby cry a lot?”
Seriously? She’s a baby! Yes, she cries—constantly. She cries when she’s hungry, when she’s not hungry, and because she can’t lift her head yet. Honestly, I sometimes join her in tears!
4. “Are you helping your partner out enough?”
Let me tell you, it’s astounding how little I care about my partner now that she’s given birth. Just kidding! Of course I’m helping her. I witnessed firsthand what she endured during childbirth. It was brutal, and she’s the strongest person I know. So yes, I’m supporting her in every way I can.
5. “Do you think you’ll have more kids?”
Really? Look at my bloodshot eyes! I’m currently drowning in a sea of baby-related chaos. Asking me this is like asking someone who just suffered food poisoning when they plan to eat at a buffet again. Let’s revisit this in a year, shall we?
6. “I just got a puppy that whines all night. I totally understand how you feel!”
No, you don’t. Your puppy can be left in another room and will eventually settle down. My newborn requires constant attention and care. So, while it’s lovely that you’re up with your new pet, it’s not even close to the same experience.
7. “Does she look more like you or your partner?”
Right now, Lily resembles a tiny, wrinkled potato with dark eyes. In a few months, who knows? But what I do know is that her coos are adorable, and despite my exhaustion, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming love for her.
If you enjoyed this post, you might also appreciate our article on intrauterine insemination for more insights into parenting and conception. And if you’re looking to boost your fertility, check out Make a Mom for their reliable home insemination kits. Additionally, Johns Hopkins offers excellent resources on pregnancy and at-home insemination.
In summary, parenting is a wild ride filled with sleepless nights and unsolicited questions. While some inquiries can be amusing, others can test our patience. The key is to find humor in the madness and remember that every challenging moment is worth it when you look into your baby’s eyes.
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