As I chatted with a fellow mom, her dark hair framing her face, we watched our daughters in their tutus tap-dancing side by side. She asked me the typical question: “How far apart in age are your kids?”
“Five years,” I said, bracing for the usual reaction.
“Did you plan it that way?” she inquired, catching me off guard. I wasn’t expecting this depth of conversation.
“Well, I experienced two pregnancy losses between them,” I replied, surprising even myself with my honesty. I usually sidestep the deeper aspects of my family planning journey, including the divorce and my second marriage that intervened during that time.
Her surprise was palpable, but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of empathy. If you’re going to ask about someone’s family planning, you should be ready for an honest answer, even if it makes things a bit uncomfortable.
The truth is, I never intended to have a five-year gap between my children. In my younger years, I fantasized about having two or three kids close in age, ideally wrapping up my baby-making by 30. But life threw its curveballs—separation, heartbreak, and countless tests.
Yet, as unexpected as it was, there are plenty of advantages to this arrangement. When I was on maternity leave with my second child, my oldest was off in kindergarten all day. It felt like I was experiencing the newborn phase again, except I was far less anxious. Some days felt almost like a mini-vacation, albeit one where I was perpetually exhausted. Picture this: lounging on the couch for hours, catching up on my favorite TV shows while nursing a serene baby. Who wouldn’t want that again?
Having kids five years apart means explaining the ups and downs of puberty to one child while helping the other navigate her way through potty training. It’s the soundtrack of Kidz Bop blaring from one room while The Wiggles sing about hot potatoes in the next, as I silently wish for an 80s music revival.
It involves coaching one child through the angst of adolescence—tweaking hair and changing outfits multiple times—while reassuring the younger one that mommies and daddies always return after preschool. It’s about comforting both kids as they sob for completely different reasons.
This age gap mixes Daniel Tiger with shows like Austin & Ally, leaving little room for my beloved Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal. It’s a delightful surprise when they discover a show they both love—who’d have thought Transformers: Rescue Bots would be a hit?
Weekend clean-up days mean vacuuming up goldfish crumbs while listening to my older child cry over the injustice of putting her own laundry away. It’s countless hours spent assisting with homework and piano practice while pretending to listen to the youngest describe her ability to transform into a unicorn, a coyote, and even a robot—because why not?
Trips to Disneyland become magical, filled with unexpected joy. I knew my preschooler would be thrilled by Doc McStuffins, but who could guess that my 9-year-old would shout, “I love you, Ariel!” during the parade?
Seeing my kids genuinely enjoy each other’s company is a constant source of amazement. They find ways to connect over games like Jungle Kids, leaving me in awe of their bond.
Having kids five years apart is a mix of gratitude, frustration, and pure joy. It’s certainly not how I envisioned my family would look, yet I wouldn’t change it for anything. For more insights on family planning and parenting, check out this enlightening post on Cervical Insemination and explore reputable resources like Rmany or Make A Mom for at-home insemination kits.
In summary, while having kids five years apart wasn’t part of my original plan, it has brought a unique blend of challenges and joys that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
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