At 50 years old and after nearly three decades of marriage, I find myself re-entering the social scene—not in the romantic sense, but with the aim of finding a lifelong friend. That’s right; I’m on the lookout for my new BFF!
My long-term friends, those treasured pals I’ve known since childhood, live far away, scattered across the Northeast—from Maryland to Pennsylvania to Rhode Island. These incredible women have been by my side through every challenge life threw at me, from awkward teenage years to adulthood’s ups and downs. They’ve shared countless memories with me, from wild road trips and late-night ice cream runs to those heart-to-heart conversations that last until dawn. They are my vintage gems, holding the stories of my life, the good, the bad, and the downright embarrassing (trust me, there was a lot of embarrassing). If geography were on our side, we’d still be meeting up regularly for drinks or catching the latest blockbuster together.
As a stay-at-home mom who’s also dived into homeschooling, my local friendships have shifted over the last 18 years. Recently, though, I’ve noticed a significant decline in my social interactions—cue the iconic Friends theme song with a little twist: “So no one told you life was gonna be this way, your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your social life’s DOA.” Playdates and mommy groups have become distant memories, and with my child now in public school, I’ve lost touch with many of my homeschooling friends. To add to the mix, as I transition back into freelance writing, I realize I can’t rely on the social networks that come with a traditional job. So, what’s a socially-starved woman to do? Enter “The Friendship Quest: A New Chapter.”
Phase 1: Dive into the Adventure
To kick things off, I signed up for a few local groups to test the waters of friendship-seeking. As an introvert, this is no small feat. I feel like I need a life raft—or at least a giant pool noodle—to keep me afloat in these anxiety-inducing social situations. But hey, I’m determined to make this work!
Phase 2: Set the Scene
With two energetic teens in the house, our color-coded family calendar is my lifeline for keeping track of rides, dinner plans, and last-minute financial requests for events. Ironically, my color-coded entries are mostly blue, a clear indicator of my lackluster social life. Amid all the green and red entries for my boys, there’s just one lonely blue note: my upcoming dentist appointment. Really? That’s the highlight of my month? Not anymore! I boldly add “Mom’s Night Out” in big, bold letters on the calendar, and I can’t help but feel a surge of excitement.
Phase 3: Get Ready
The night of my inaugural “friend date” arrived—Bunco night, promising a few hours of laughter and camaraderie, a refreshing change from my usual routine of laundry and scrolling through my phone. As the event approached, I faced the classic first-date dilemma. What should I wear? I wanted to strike the perfect balance between age-appropriate and not looking desperate. I glanced through my closet, which seemed to reveal three categories: church clothes, outdated professional attire from the early ’90s, and comfy casual wear. Did I have anything remotely fun? Apparently not. I settled on a couple of “timeless” pieces (think basic striped tee and forgettable trousers) and headed out.
Phase 4: Make an Entrance
Upon arriving at Bunco, I quickly scanned the room. Good news—no one looked like a serial killer! As the evening unfolded, I connected with about a dozen other women, all eager to escape their homes for a bit of fun. We swapped tales of life—careers, relationships, health struggles—while keeping it light, of course, as you do on a first date. We shared snacks, sipped on our drinks, and laughed heartily.
By the night’s end, I had to filter out a few contenders—like the woman who didn’t crack a smile and the one with a cloud of negativity hanging over her. But the highlight? I walked away with two phone numbers! It appears I’m gearing up for a second date.
If you’re also navigating the journey of friendship after significant life changes, you might find helpful insights in this blog post. And for those considering home insemination, check out this site for reliable at-home insemination kits, as well as this resource for information on infertility and conception.
In summary, diving back into the quest for friendship can feel intimidating, but with a bit of courage and a willingness to connect, it’s entirely possible to forge new bonds. So here’s to new adventures and the friends yet to be made!
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