When it comes to our firstborn, we tend to bubble-wrap them—figuratively speaking, of course. Although, if we were to literally bubble-wrap them, it would quickly turn into a choking hazard. But let’s be honest, popping bubble wrap is just too much fun to resist, isn’t it?
Now, about that first child. That little one is the center of our universe. I vividly remember the day I tackled my firstborn son like I was an undercover agent, all to save him from a hazardous piece of paper towel he’d somehow managed to get into his mouth. I would pry open their tiny jaws with the determination of a rescue mission, risking a finger injury to save them from a piece of dog food, treating it like it was a cyanide capsule.
Contrast that with my youngest, who I once found gnawing on a paper towel. My reaction? A casual shrug. I thought, “I’ll get to it eventually.” The danger level was more of a mild alert, not the all-out panic mode I’d experienced with his siblings. As I shuffled over from the dishes I was washing, I debated the merits of risking a finger for a piece of paper towel. “Let him munch on it,” I thought. “These dishes aren’t going to wash themselves.”
You know what’s scarier than my laissez-faire attitude towards my child’s kitchen escapades? The fact that I openly admitted to washing dishes. I’ve always prided myself on being the “cool” parent, too busy being hip to bother with chores. I once told my partner that they were the responsible one, while I was just trying to keep things fun around the house. That revelation didn’t go over as well as I’d hoped.
There I was, the so-called trendy dad, while my son happily munched on a piece of absorbent goodness. It’s not that I don’t care about my youngest; I just find myself a bit less anxious about his well-being. After two years in the parenting game, it’s become clear that kids are going to consume all sorts of things—be it dirt, grass, or random objects that catch their fancy. I had a phase where I was convinced my son was part mole, given how much dirt he would eat every time we stepped outside. You wouldn’t believe the surprise of changing a diaper only to discover it looked more like a sandy beach than anything else.
Rest assured, they do eventually grow out of the phase of exploring the world through taste. However, it’s inevitable that little ones will chew on household items. With a bit of vigilance—like keeping the rat poison out of reach—they’re usually safe. I say “usually” because there are moments that can trigger a mini-panic.
Like the time my kids decided to indulge in some syrup. Not the kind you’d put on pancakes, but rather the baby Benadryl stashed in the diaper bag. They figured out how to get past the child-proof cap and shared their newfound “treat” before we swooped in for an intervention that landed us at the hospital. We spent the evening watching our kids who looked mildly dazed from all that allergy medication. Lesson learned: the diaper bag needed a new home high up and out of reach.
Parenting is about evolving alongside your children—not just physically, as many of us seem to put on some parent weight, but mentally and emotionally too. We learn to distinguish between genuine threats to their safety and, say, a piece of paper towel. I’m not advocating for a diet that consists solely of paper products; they’re costly, and who has the budget for that? There are far more pressing matters, like whether the diaper bag accentuates your backside or makes it look larger.
Sure, there will always be someone ready to point out that eating paper towels isn’t great for kids, all while they’re shoving hot dogs down their little ones’ throats. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine—hot dogs are a delicious and quick meal option (and if you run out of buns, just wrap that hot dog in some paper towel).
As parents, sometimes we need to let our kids learn through experience—even if that experience involves a bit of trial and error with their taste buds. Trust me, the kid who munches on sticks is unlikely to be picky about dinner. So, after years of navigating the parenting waters, I say, “Let them eat paper towels.”
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In summary, parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and every child is an adventure of its own. While we strive to protect them, sometimes it’s okay to let them explore—whether that’s through tasting new things or chomping on a paper towel.
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