Hey there, Twentysomething Yogi!
I couldn’t help but catch snippets of your conversation before class, where you expressed a longing to travel back to the ’90s. Then, I watched you pose for a #blessed photo of your perfectly manicured toes and SmartWater, and I have to wonder if the ’90s are really your vibe.
Let’s face it: if you were actually living in the ’90s, this chic yoga studio wouldn’t exist. You’d be stuck in a musty gym, waiting for step aerobics to begin, while some guy in weightlifting shorts awkwardly tried to chat you up. Back then, that was considered flirting, so you’d likely just roll your eyes and count the minutes until the class finally started.
Dating in the ’90s
And speaking of dating, you do realize there was no Tinder in the ’90s, right? Meeting someone meant mustering up the courage for awkward conversations with strangers. If a guy slipped you his number on a napkin at the end of the night, it was like a digital right swipe. Most nights, though, you’d leave empty-handed—the ’90s were lonelier than you might think.
Social Media and Communication
There were no social media platforms like Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook back then. Hashtags? You’d only find those in the Red Light District of Amsterdam. Vacation photos? They lived in dusty albums, while dinner gatherings remained private. If you made plans, you stuck to them because people didn’t have cell phones to bail on you at the last minute. Landlines and phone books were the norm. Writing letters was a thrill, and when we got our first email addresses, it felt like magic, even if they were limited to 300 characters. Dial-up Internet was a whole other beast—clogging the phone line and making it impossible to connect with that cute guy from the gym.
Fashion Trends
Let’s not even get started on fashion. Sure, the ’90s had its iconic looks, but that “Rachel” haircut? It looked flawless at the salon but turned into a frizzy disaster at home. And yes, mullets were a thing—everyone had one, from your boss to your boyfriend, and even Princess Diana rocked one!
I’ll admit you missed out on some great music, but for every genius like Billy Corgan, there was an equally questionable Billy Ray Cyrus. The ’90s had its gems and its cringes, from Lauryn Hill to “I’m Too Sexy” and the infamous Macarena.
Your generation might think ’90s fashion is just oversized fanny packs. But would you actually rock it with high-waisted Girbaud jeans, a mock turtleneck, and white sneakers? Because that was the style, and you’d own it! You’d also smell of CK One and secondhand smoke—yeah, a lot of people smoked back then, often in restaurants. Crazy, huh?
Pop Culture and Drama
While the ’90s didn’t have influencers like Kim Kardashian, it did have Robert Kardashian, which was a whole different level of drama. We were glued to the O.J. Simpson trial and other bizarre headlines, like mad cow disease and Y2K.
Despite its quirks, I understand your nostalgia for the decade. The ’90s had its share of awesomeness, but it wasn’t the endless music festival that Urban Outfitters makes it out to be. Enjoy your selfies and SmartWater in your own time. Someday, you’ll look back on your generation and realize just how #blessed you truly were.
Until then? Let’s just say, keep your distance from my generation!
Namaste,
The Observant Midlifer at Yoga
Further Reading
For more insights on navigating the journey to parenthood, check out this post on cervical insemination. If you’re curious about at-home insemination, you can find kits at a reputable retailer like Cryobaby. And if you’re looking for useful statistics on infertility, the CDC offers excellent resources.
Summary
The article humorously reflects on the differences between the ’90s and today, addressing a twentysomething yoga enthusiast who longs for that decade. It highlights the realities of dating, technology, and fashion from the past while encouraging the reader to appreciate their own era.
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